Compassion-Nate

Maxwell Mather, standing at a podium and shuffling papers, appeared to be encased in something that very much resembled a pneumatic tube found at a bank drive-through window.

Thick and clear, it kept him insulated from any kind of science or magic (and occasionally a combination of the two) he might encounter.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson, Post @scottscribe, Mastodon @SLA1960 and Twitter @adamsonsl

And encounter it he would; as the head of human resources at World Metahuman Clearinghouse, Inc., it was his job to screen, interview, and onboard new superheroes, as well as make sure they left without making a scene after being relieved of their duties.

Things rarely went sideways, although when Colonel Skunk was asked to turn in his uniform several years earlier after a period of downsizing, there was a spraying incident.

During the summer – especially on breezy days – employees at WMC Inc. claim they can still get a whiff of the odor.

On this day the applicant was Nate Raimi, a young man from America’s Heartland who hoped to convince Mather his skills were worth support and, more importantly, worthy of funding.

While Mather stood inside his cube, Raimi sat in a chair situated several feet away.

“Welcome, Nate … I hope you don’t mind if I call you Nate,” said Mather, whose voice was projected through an intercom system inside the tube.

“Not at all,” Raimi said. “I just appreciate you taking the time to talk to me today. It’s very kind of you.”

Mather looked down at Raimi’s application, pulled it closer to his face, then laid it down on the podium.

“So, I see you want your hero identity to be ‘Compassion-Nate,’ is that correct?”

Raimi smiled and nodded.

“Very clever. Could you describe exactly what your powers are?” Mather asked.

Raimi cleared his throat.

“It’s pretty simple,” he said. “I feel compassion … a genuine concern for other people. When I meet someone, it makes them feel that same compassion, and then they spread the feeling to someone else, and it starts something of a chain reaction.”

Mather raised an eyebrow.

“So, basically, you’re just … sympathetic to people?” Mather said.

“Well, there’s a bit more to it than that,” Raimi said. “I have to personally interact with them – have a conversation – and that triggers the spread the compassion. I don’t have to say much, just a brief chat. And after that, they start to feel it and they’ll go in search of someone else in need of having compassion shown to them … they’ll be drawn to them. They retain some of my compassion power, or whatever you want to call it, and pass it on to someone else, who passes it on to someone else, and so on. It’s really cool.”

Mather displayed a puzzled look.

“How do you know?” he asked. “I mean, how do you know it’s working?”

“Each night when I go to sleep, I dream about the people I’ve had an encounter with and in these dreams, I see all the people that it affected,” Raimi explained. “And sometimes I’ll see them again in person, and when I do, they’ll talk about some of the people whose lives they’ve touched. It’s a good feeling.”

Mather forced a slight grin.

“You’re obviously a nice person, Nate, and I think it’s admirable what you’re doing. And I must say, that’s an interesting power. But … it’s not really a superhero power, now, is it? And I don’t understand why you’d need funding since you already have the ability to make people feel compassion. If you want to do that, maybe you should just do volunteer work at a non-profit or something like that.”

Raimi expected that response, and had an answer ready.

“Basically, I’d like to have money to travel so I could go all over the world and meet as many people as I can and spread compassion,” he said. “You always hear about people at supermarkets who have to put back some food because they can’t pay for all of it, or folks who can’t afford rent. I can’t be everywhere, so I could use some of the money to open food banks and shelters and that sort of thing.

“Just think … if I do this every day for a year, it’s possible that millions of people would suddenly have a true sense of compassion, and have the power to make others feel it, too. And a year after that, there’d be millions more all across the globe. Imagine all of the problems it could solve. If you had a planet filled with compassionate people, you could rid it of violence, of wars … and less violence would make the other superheroes’ jobs easier, wouldn’t it? And as for a uniform, really all I’d need are some hats and T-shirts with a logo … maybe just a caricature of my face.”

Mather picked up Raimi’s application and shoved it in a folder.

He then placed his elbows on the podium and rested his chin on folded hands.

“Nate, World Metahuman Clearinghouse, Inc. spends billions of dollars each year helping superheroes carry out their important work,” Mather said. “Arachnid-Guy, for example, requires huge sums of money to help create the fluid needed for his webs that can pin criminals against the wall until the police arrive. Mr. Nocturnal spends a lot of money on upgrades to the Nocturnalmobile and the Nocturnalcycle, not to mention the high-tech weapons he uses against the forces of darkness. Destroying the lair of Captain Conundrum and wiping out his henchmen didn’t come cheap. And Titanium-Bro alone spent nearly $50 billion last year on rockets for his flight suit. It cost $15 million to kill the Ne’er-do-well Gang in Garzastania, and millions more to settle lawsuits and rebuild all those civilian homes he inadvertently destroyed.

“The point is, while I appreciate what you’re trying to do, it just doesn’t fit into our mission. I’m sorry, but I cannot grant you permission to work under the title ‘Compassion-Nate’ and we’re unable to fund your efforts. Good luck in your future endeavors, though, and thanks for coming in.

“Have a great day.”

Raimi stood up, turned around, and slowly walked toward the exit.

“Well,” he said. “Maybe you won’t let me be Compassion-Nate, but I’m still compassionate. I’ll just help as many people as I can, whenever I can.”

Once the door close behind Raimi, Mather powered down the tube, reached into his pocket, and pulled out his phone.

“Dorothy,” he said, “Yeah, it’s me. Look, we need to set up a Zoom meeting with our stakeholders, especially some of the more, shall we say, lethal ones. I just met with a guy who could put us out of business.

“He has to be stopped – at any cost.”

Hail to the champs

Arlington QB Luis Perez throws against the DC Defenders in the XFL Championship Game at the Alamodome on May 13 in San Antonio./© Alex Bierens de Haan/XFL

The Arlington Renegades are the inaugural champions of XFL 3.0, and they finished the season 6-6.

The runners up – the DC Defenders – closed out their campaign at 10-2.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson, Post @scottscribe, Mastodon @SLA1960 and Twitter @adamsonsl

So, is it a good thing or a bad thing that a team with a .500 record wears the crown?

Neither.

I think it’s a great thing.

The XFL, USFL, or any FL that hovers below the NFL is about second, third, last and – sometimes – only opportunities. These are clubs stocked with players who have had their hopes dashed time after time but continue to chase their dreams.

Those who do break through will tell stories of overcoming tremendous odds, of constantly being told they weren’t good enough, that they didn’t belong.

They had no chance until they showed a chance was all they needed.

In a nutshell that sums up the Renegades, who finished 4-6 in the regular season but earned a playoff spot by finishing second in the South Division.

Quarterback Luis Perez is already an alt-football legend thanks to stints in the Alliance of American Football, XFL 2.0, The Spring League, modern United States Football League, and now XFL 3.0.

He cemented his legacy on Saturday by going 26-of-36 passing for 288 yards and three touchdowns in Arlington’s 35-26 victory over the Defenders at San Antonio’s Alamodome.

Oh yeah … he was a member of the Vegas Vipers until joining the Renegades following Week Seven. Since then, he threw for 1,307 yards and seven touchdowns. Against DC alone, he recorded 906 yards and six TDs (including his time in Vegas).

It was no surprise he was named MVP of the championship game.

“Yeah, it means the world to me,” he said. “I’ve played in all these spring leagues, and thank you to (XFL co-owner and CEO Dany Garcia)  and (XFL co-owner Dwayne Johnson) for the opportunity to come out here and just do it, man. It’s a really good group of guys in there … not only players, but good people, and it’s just humbling. I’m very thankful to be here.”

Perez said leagues like the XFL are vitally important for players who are a step away from the NFL but need somewhere to find that extra step.

“It’s my sixth year playing pro football and again, it’s one thing to play football – like actually play in the game and lead a locker room – than being a practice squad guy that doesn’t really get to play much,” he explains. “It’s so hard to emulate playing quarterback, things like moving the pocket in relation to seeing things on defense, checking plays, stuff like that. You can’t emulate it in practice.”

DC boss Reggie Barlow had high praise for the Renegades, saying they deserved to win. He also congratulated their well-traveled signal caller for turning in a major league performance.

“I love seeing people get their opportunities and take advantage of it,” Barlow said. “He was at another place where it didn’t work out for him but he stayed focused, was a team player, played in a backup role, but when he got his opportunity, he showed he’s a solid quarterback. He made plays with his arms and showed he has some razzle dazzle with his legs.”

Players had nearly three months to display their talents, and the schedule served as a pretty good job interview. Before the title matchup, more than 50 men on 2023 XFL rosters had received NFL camp invites. As of Monday, 11 signed contracts.

“These signings are a credit to our player personnel departments at the team and league levels who recognized talent and all of our coaches who helped their development,” XFL president Russ Brandon said. “We are proud to watch our players continue on their path to achieve their professional dreams.”

Arlington boss Bob Stoops gained fame as a national championship winning coach at Oklahoma University. During his time in Norman, he coached two Heisman Trophy winners, 37 All-Americans and had 79 players taken in the NFL Draft.

In his second stint in the XFL (he guided the Dallas Renegades during the 2020 season that was doomed by the COVID-19 pandemic), he had an opportunity to put more players on the big league’s radar.

“Our ownership is incredible and it’s only going to keep getting better,” Stoops said. “I see this as very viable and it’s going to continue to go and move forward. To me, it’ll just get better and better.

“The good thing about it is all these players who are gonna get picked up and go to NFL camps. We’re done playing now and these guys can go – whoever gets picked up. And that’s a positive thing. I think the timing of what we’ve been doing is great.”

No matter where they end up, Barlow is glad they had another league to provide another platform.

“I’m really proud of our guys,” he said. “They’ve been fun to coach and I’m proud of our coaches, support staff … we had a great season and a lot of people worked to put us where we are. It was important to let all the players know individually that I appreciate ‘em and love ‘em.”

There will be those who see the outcome of the XFL Championship Game as a fluke, but there was nothing accidental about what happened Saturday night in San Antonio. And remember, the Renegades beat a 7-3 Houston team (the South Divison champs) two weeks before topping the North Division winners – the club with the league’s best overall record.

And in case you haven’t figured it out yet, playoffs and tournaments aren’t designed to produce the best team. Playoffs and tournaments are designed to produce a champion.

And in the 2023 XFL, that champion is the 6-6 Arlington Renegades, a squad that embodied the underdog spirit of alt-football by doing what others thought they couldn’t do.

A .500 record never looked so good.

Crunch time

This time last year, the USFL might as well have been an acronym for Undefeated Stallions Football League.   

Birmingham, at 5-0, already had a two-game lead in the South Division. In fact, its only loss was a Week Nine hiccup against the Houston Gamblers, a low-stakes game against a last place team that was quickly forgotten as Skip Holtz’s club went on to win the crown.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson, Post @scottscribe, Mastodon @SLA1960 and Twitter @adamsonsl

Today’s contest between the Stallions and Gamblers at Protective Stadium was different. It had a playoff feel even though five weeks still remain in the regular season.

With New Orleans sitting atop the South as the league’s lone unbeaten team (the Breakers play the Memphis Showboats here on Sunday), the showdown was a battle for position.

Birmingham started the day at 3-1, and a win would translate into a two-game cushion over Houston and firm control of second place in the division.

A Gamblers “W” meant they would be tied with the Stallions at 3-2, and hold a tiebreaker advantage for second place (with a rematch set for June 11 in Memphis).

By the time a scorching afternoon had given way to a muggy early evening, the result was a best-case scenario for Houston.

A 27-20 victory didn’t wrap up a postseason berth for Curtis Johnson’s team, of course, but it was a positive step in the right direction.

“We knew that this was more of a must-win for us than it probably was for them,” Johnson said. “They’re the champions, and they played like it.”

Both teams were missing some key components in what was – to date – the biggest game of 2023 for each. I know, I know … injuries aren’t an excuse, but they are a reality.

The biggest loss for Houston was starting quarterback Kenji Bahar, who missed the game due to an ankle injury and took 835 yards and seven passing touchdowns with him.

The home team has dealt with a litany of wounds and ailments week in and week out. Scooby Wright – the emotional leader of the defense – wasn’t in the lineup today, nor was all-purpose yards leader Deon Cain, who has already been worth two touchdowns on special teams.

“Some of our injuries were supposed to be two to four weeks, and here we are at five,” Holtz said. “I’m hopeful we’ll get a couple back … I’m hoping (safety) Jojo Tillery and (defensive end) Joe Jackson will be back. Unfortunately, four or five of the guys have pretty close to season-ending injuries.”

The expression “next man up” should probably be amended to “next men up.”

Yet, it’s all part of the game, and the name of the game is to win.

So, coaches and players have to figure out a way.

The Gamblers did that today, with a national TV audience and a few thousand fans in the stands looking on.

Terry Wilson stepped in admirably in place of Bahar, assisting Mark Thompson in a ground game that racked up 138 yards but showing he could throw when needed, registering a tidy 117 aerial yards with nearly half coming on a 50-yard pass to Anthony Ratliff-Williams.

“It really starts with the coaches,” Wilson said. “They believed in me and gave me the opportunity to go out there. It started with a phenomenal week of practice. We knew it would be hot when we got down here but we wanted to be ready for anything, and we knew we’d play hard and it was going to be a battle. I thought we brought it, and got the ‘W’.”

Stallions QB Alex McGough, however, took another step toward ironman status with a gutsy performance that netted 209 passing yards, 71 rushing yards and two touchdowns.

“That quarterback is something special,” Johnson said. “I come from the NFL, and I’d take him right now. He’s outstanding.”

Tomorrow, Houston can look at this game as a signature win, their third in a row and a result that makes them the hottest team in the USFL not named the Breakers.

Birmingham will bemoan being hit with 10 penalties for 106 yards while the Gamblers never saw a yellow flag over 60 minutes.

“That’s part of the frustration,” Holtz said. “The penalties were 10 to nothing. It was hard. We couldn’t get anything going and it seems like anytime we did, we’d get a penalty.”

Come Monday, however, it’ll be back to business for both.

And every game going forward will seem like a playoff for two teams with the same record and the same goal.

“I’m proud of our team,” Holtz said. “I’m proud of the way they continue to compete. Proud of the way they fought back, and they never give up.”