Gone to live on a farm

Ben shifted gingerly, trying to straighten up as he began lilting to the right. The elevated head position of his adjustable bed helped him breath a bit easier, but comfort was hard to come by these days.

“Doris,” he said, “Do you mind straightening me up a little?”

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Bluesky @scottadamson1960.bsky.social

The hospice nurse obliged with a gentle smile, and fluffed his pillow for good measure.

“Much better … much, much better, thanks. Sorry I’m so much trouble.”

“You’re no trouble at all, Ben. Whatever you need to be more comfortable, you just let me know.”

The end was very near for Ben now, and he was at peace with his fate. He figured 83 years – most of them filled with love and adventure – were plenty, and an eternal rest would mean an end to the infernal pain he had suffered over the past few months. But as his time slipped away, his mind was buzzing with memories – and one in particular kept popping up.

“I think I might be at that ‘burst of energy before I go’ stage, Doris. I just remembered something from way back. Can I tell you about it?”

“Of course,” Doris said, patting his right hand. “I’m all ears.”

Ben smiled.

“I had a bunch of dogs over the years – crazy about all of them – but when I was a little kid, I had this ol’ mutt named Estus. He had raggedy black fur and his left ear was always turned inside out. He wasn’t much to look at but, then again, neither was I. Guess that’s why me and him got along so well. Only thing, that dang dog was always trying to lick my face, and it drove me crazy. That was about the only time I ever got mad at him. Anyway, he was already an older dog when my folks gave him to me and when I started to get older, too, he slowed down. Couldn’t run much and didn’t like to chase balls or sticks. Idiot still tried to lick my face, though.

“One morning, I woke up and didn’t see him … he was always asleep at the foot of my bed. I thought maybe he had gone outside but when I asked ma, she said daddy had taken him off to live on a farm. Said he was too sick to stay in the city and the city was what was making him sick, but if he lived on a farm he could run and play all day … be happy again.”

Ben shook his head.

“I didn’t know they were just trying to let me down easy. About a week or two later we were going somewhere in daddy’s car and I saw this pretty red barn up on a hill beside the interstate, and I just knew that’s where Estus was living. I asked if we could stop and see him but they just ignored me. Wasn’t too long after that I realized Estus was gone and never coming back. You know what? I still miss that little guy. Shoot, I miss all my dogs.”

Ben coughed and then started wheezing.

“I think,” he said in a weak voice, “I’m gonna to go live on a farm now, Doris.”

Moments later, the nurse checked his pulse, and there was none. Ben’s breathing had also stopped.

“Goodbye, Ben,” Doris said, carefully covering his face with a sheet. “I’ll miss you.”

Ben couldn’t hear her, of course. How could he? All of his dogs were running around and barking. Plus, Estus was slurping the side of his face.

He didn’t get mad at the raggedy mutt this time, though. Ben just kissed the dog’s head, took a big stretch, and started walking toward that pretty red barn.

Welcome back, Cosmos

If I told you I’m as excited about watching the Cosmos soccer team on March 14, 2026, as I was when I saw them on TV on June 15, 1975, I’d be fibbing.

For one thing, I was 14 years old in the summer of ’75, so I was pretty easily excited. Things like seeing Angie Dickinson take down the bad guys while wearing a halter top in Policewoman or listening to Physical Graffiti on my headphones got my motor running back then.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Bluesky @scottadamson1960.bsky.social

And when I witnessed Pelé ascend the steps of Downing Stadium to make his debut as a member of New York’s North American Soccer League club, it was magical. Finally, the international sport I loved was getting the ultimate publicity blitz in the country where I lived.

More than half a century later – having been there, done that and gotten the Medicare card – it takes quite a lot to push my exhilaration button.

But …

I’ve been looking forward to this day ever since the Cosmos rose from the association football grave. And when they line up against Portland Hearts of Pine this afternoon in Paterson, New Jersey, in a USL League One contest at Hinchliffe Stadium, I’ll have a feeling of both nostalgia and comfort.

Nostalgia because the Cosmos were the first soccer club I ever cheered for, and comfort because soccer has long been figurative comfort food for me.

With everything awful and the world on fire, 22 people fighting over a round ball gives me 90 minutes of peace. And though there’s a lot of distance and difference between the original Cosmos and the ones competing today (an Edson Arantes do Nascimento equivalent ain’t gonna be on the pitch), the name and the badge still resonate with me.

Back in the glory days, I sought out every bit of information I could find on the Cosmos. Living in Birmingham, Alabama, that meant just an occasional blurb in the back of the local sport pages. But soon I discovered the Soccer America and World Soccer publications, which kept me as in the loop as a Southern kid could hope to be when it came to association football.

I faithfully supported the original Cosmos, celebrating their NASL crowns like they had won them just for me. And even after “O Rei” retired, fans abandoned the league and the NASL ultimately imploded, whenever a side bearing their name resurfaced – be it in the second North American Soccer League or National Independent Soccer Association – I claimed them as “mine.”

And so, it begins anew in a low-key way.

Personally, I like the fact that they’re starting out at the Division III level. If the USL ultimately implements promotion/relegation as it plans to do, the Cosmos can earn their way to the top tier through sporting merit. That’s as it should be.

Plus, I’m over billionaires and their toys, so Paterson native Baye Adofo-Wilson’s majority ownership of the club – and focus on grassroots efforts and community engagement – is refreshing.

And as a guy who loves historic stadiums and reveres the Negro Leagues, the fact that the Cosmos play at hallowed grounds once roamed by the New York Black Yankees, New York Cubans and Newark Eagles makes me smile.

Will I ever get up to Hinchliffe to see them play in in person?

Probably not.

Then again, I was never in the stands at the Meadowlands to see the OG Cosmos play, but that didn’t make me any less of a supporter.

That being the case, today I’m rocking my well-worn white Cosmos T-shirt and bright green Cosmos dad cap (from the NASL 2 era). Instead of hero-worshipping guys like Pelé, Giorgio Chinaglia and Franz Beckenbauer, I’ll be cheering on the likes of Sebastián Guenzatti, Tristan Stephani and Christian Koffi.

It might not generate Angie Dickinson-level excitement, but it’s still a pretty big deal for this Boomer in Bama.

So, welcome back, Cosmos … I hope you decide to stick around this time.

Communication breakdown

The bright silver alien patrol vehicle moved quietly through the street, occasionally emitting a red-yellow glow that prompted people to go inside their homes in observance of curfew.

For anyone under the age of 40, it was simply a way of life – they had never known a world that wasn’t ruled by the Sagittarians. Nations, governments and cultures had long since come under control of the humanoid beings, who arrived on Earth in the summer of 2043.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Bluesky @scottadamson1960.bsky.social

Sarah Nevins peered out the window as the patrol passed by, shaking her head.

“It’s been a lifetime ago, now, but it’s still hard to believe,” she said.

Her husband, Bart, looked up from his information cube.

“What’s that, hon?”

“I was just thinking back to before, when humans dominated the earth. Then just like that, because of our stupidity, it was over.”

On a late June night four decades before, a huge spacecraft had appeared above the Whittier Hills Memorial Park and Mortuary in California. For two days it hovered, releasing various sounds and color displays. Scientists could not determine what the chirps and whistles were meant to convey, but the series of radiant flashes seemingly corresponded with the American alphabet.

It was determined that the messages were “F-O-R-M-A” “M-E-T-H-A” and “G-L-U-T,” but what exactly any of those letters meant was unknown at the time.

However, the codes suddenly disappeared and the spacecraft went silent as it dropped to the ground below.

“Remember when we watched it on TV?” Sarah mused. “I never once thought it was an invasion or that they were gearing up for an attack. Admittedly, I didn’t know what to think, but that didn’t enter my mind.”

Bart nodded.

“Me, either. I wondered why they hadn’t landed in Washington or London or Moscow … you know, one of those, ‘Take me to your leader’ type places. A cemetery just seemed random … and odd.”

It didn’t seem random to the myriad conspiracy theorists who quickly decided the extraterrestrials were ghouls. And matters weren’t helped by the fact that President Chad Odiosa – a controversial former podcaster and verbal grenade lobber – was more than happy to spread panic to an already worried nation.

In a speech televised across the world on Day Three of the craft’s arrival, Odiosa claimed that the aliens had come to earth to reanimate the dead and create an army of zombies, stoking rage among those fueled by it. In years past such claims would’ve been deemed ridiculous, but ridiculousness had been normalized ever since the millennium had reached its teens. Once the fuse was lit, thousands of Odiosa’s well-armed followers converged on California. They were joined by military personnel, pushed into action by the commander in chief.

“That ignorant asshole,” Sarah spat. “I’ll never forget his rallying cry … ‘They might have come from the heavens, but we’ll send ‘em straight to hell.’ All the tiny brains loved it. Still makes me sick just to think about it.”

There was no way for humans and the Sagittarians to verbally communicate early on, which is why the aliens were attempting to do so with light and sound. But once the craft crashed, their only choice was to emerge in hopes of finding a way to explain their presence face to face.

“God, that was horrible,” Bart said. “Once the door opened and they came down the ramp, it was a massacre. The missiles didn’t do a lot of damage to the craft, but those poor Sagittarians were wiped out. That one guy little in front just held out his arms and  … boom. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.”

Odiosa was quick to make a victory speech, and brazenly dared Sagittarians to return to earth if they “wanted more of the same.”

Odiosa got his wish in short order.

Before their ship lost power, a distress signal had been sent. But once the Sagittarian rescue vessel intercepted human communications – and determined an act of war had taken place – it turned back.

Within days, the skies over Earth were littered with a Sagittarian armada. After a week, they had wiped out every organized military in the world, and tens of millions of humans died in the process.

Then – just a few months after the takeover – the Sagittarians adapted to human language.

“That bastard Odiosa went into hiding, but if he survived, I wonder what went through his mind when he learned what the Sagittarians wanted that first day,” Sarah said wistfully. “’Forma,’ ‘Metha,’ ‘Glut’ – formaldehyde, methanol, glutaraldehyde. That’s why they were hovering over a cemetery … the ingredients to embalming fluid could’ve refueled their ship. If we had shown just the bare minimum of  patience, we could’ve helped them and they’d have been on their way. Hell, we might’ve even become our friends.

“Instead, we declared war on them and became their subjects … simply because they stopped for gas.”