Spike’s Choice

Dr. Artemus Ballimore was not a “real” veterinarian – at least not as far as anyone could tell. There were no diplomas on display in his office, he had no pamphlets promoting products or services … in fact, it wasn’t much of an office at all.

Aside from a standard examining table, its décor consisted of a beige antique settee, two gray folding chairs, a well-used olive-green dog bed and an old gumball machine that was filled with purple and pink stones.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson and Twitter @adamsonsl

The sign out front read “Ballimore Animal Care,” and it was painted – well, shoe-polished – in stencil. The business was hardly inviting, but it fit right in with the ambiance of the failing, fading strip mall.

And with Bubba’s Bail Bonds, Majestic Massage and Kit’s Cash and Loan occupying three other storefronts – there were four more that were vacant – Ballimore knew when someone showed up at his door, they had exhausted every other option.

Mallory Fallstrom elbowed her way in while cradling Spike in her arms. The black and white mutt was ancient; his face bathed in gray and his eyes, dull and faded.

“You’re the guy that can save him, right?” she said, gently handing Spike over to Ballimore’s waiting arms.

The dog’s breathing was labored, and Ballimore gently laid him on the exam table, which was draped in a red and black flannel blanket.

“I don’t really do anything,” the doctor said. “It’s the animal’s choice … it’s always the animal’s choice.”

The doctor’s work had become something of an internet sensation, with pet owners breathlessly giving their video testimonials about how he was able to extend their animals’ lives by negotiating a “trade” of their own years.

Mallory had seen them all – watching mostly out of curiosity and never putting a penny of stock in the claims. But she had found Spike on the side of the road when he was only a few weeks old, and 12 years later her companion was suffering.

She had taken him to two different vets in the last week, and both said the humane thing was to euthanize him.

She didn’t want to accept that.

So, out of sheer desperation, she drove 60 miles from her home to Ballimore’s office, looking for a miracle.

“I’m here because I don’t know what else to do,” she said. “I’m not gonna lie … I’ve never believed any of those claims I’ve seen online. And this idea that humans can trade in some of their years to add more to their dogs? Make it make sense to me.”

Ballimore walked to the gumball machine, twisted the handle, and snatched a pair of stones – one purple and the other, pink.

He placed them in front of Spike’s snout.

“I can’t explain it,” he said, gently stroking the animal’s head. “And good luck trying to make sense of any of it because I’ve certainly never been able to. I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse, but I’ve been an empath to dogs since I was a little boy.

“I use the stones to form a bridge between the dog’s thoughts and mine, and I tell him that his owner is willing to trade some of their years to give him a few more. It’s entirely up to the dog whether to take the deal … some want to go on, many do not.”

Mallory sighed.

“It all seems a little too New-Agey for me,” she asked. “I mean, how could I even tell if I’d given up any years? Do I give you a number, like, if you can give five more years to Spike do I have to take 10 of mine away? And really, can anyone get into the mind of a dog?

“But I love Spike so much … he’s pulled me through some dark times. I need him, so – I know it’s crazy – but can you heal him?”

Ballimore grimaced.

“No, I can’t heal him. Again … I can’t do anything. All I can do is pass along your wishes and then the dog makes a choice. And whatever the choice is, you have to live with it. I’ve never made any promises.”

Mallory got up and joined Ballimore at the table, where she watched as he twitched his lips while his tightly closed eyelids fluttered. Spike, on the other hand, appeared to be shaking, and the vibrations caused the stones in front of his nose to separate.

Moments later, Ballimore opened his eyes.

Spike’s, however, didn’t close.

“What did you do!” Mallory sobbed. “You killed Spike! Your stupid voodoo killed him!”

Ballimore knew nothing he could say would ease her pain or quell her rage. But he had to tell her the truth.

“I’m sorry, but Spike didn’t want any more years,” he said.
“He had so many problems – a few you knew about but a lot you didn’t – and he wanted to go. That big farm that dogs go to live on … well, in a way, that’s kinda what happens, metaphorically at least. His journey here was done. I told you I couldn’t heal him.”

After a few minutes of silence Mallory was finally able to get her emotions in check. Once she did, she sat down on the settee, dropping her face in her hands.

“I’m sorry I blew up at you,” she said. “I knew it was time – those other vets told me – but I was being selfish. And silly. I never believed any of this stuff anyway, but I would’ve done it … I’d have gladly given him some of my years to save him.

“And now I guess I’m supposed to give you some of my money.”

Ballimore shook his head.

“I don’t want your money,” Ballimore said. “And if it brings you some peace – and I truly hope it does – the reason Spike decided to move on was pretty simple. His last thought before he drifted away was that you’d already given him 12 of your best years.

“He wouldn’t ask for anything more.”

Stallions sweep Showboats

Notes, quotes and numbers from Birmingham’s South Division-clinching 27-20 victory over Memphis at Simmons Liberty Bank Stadium …

HOW THEY SCORED

Memphis (5-5) lit up the scoreboard immediately as Derrick Dillon ran the opening kickoff back 90 yards for a touchdown just 13 seconds in.

Alex Kessman kicked the extra point to make it 7-0.

Birmingham (8-2) followed with a good drive that finally stalled at the Showboats’ seven, but Brandon Aubrey kicked a 25-yard field goal to cut the lead to 7-3 at 10:19 of the first quarter.

The march covered 40 yards in eight plays.

Memphis answered with another touchdown, moving 55 yards on eight snaps and getting the score on a Cole Kelley to Vinny Papale three-yard connection at 5:52 of the first.

The kick made it 14-3.

The Stallions responded with their first paydirt strike of the day, as Alex McGough found Deon Cain on a seven-yard TD play at 14:57 of the second quarter.

Aubrey kicked straight to make it 14-10 and put an added touch to an 11 play, 72-yard trip.

Aubrey added more points 7:08 before halftime, nailing a 45-yard field goal to ensure that a nine play, 40-yard drive ended with a 14-13 scoreline.

The Boats got those three points back at 1:11 when Kessman made a 40-yard field goal to extend his team’s lead to 17-13.

A botched onside kick to start the second half gave the Stallions the ball at the Memphis 29, but a fumble two snaps later negated the error by the hosts.

The Showboats offense returned the favor after being victimized by an interception in the end zone after going 71 yards to the Stallions 12.

Birmingham took its first lead of the day at :33 of the third when C.J. Marable capped off a five play, 54-yard journey with an 18-yard rushing TD.

The PAT was good, and the visitors were on top, 20-17.

At 12:24 of the fourth quarter Kessman made a 45-yard kick, tying the game at 20-all.

The biggest play of the day came with 4:47 remaining when McGough threw a 46-yard touchdown pass to Jace Sternberger to highlight a five play, 70-yard march.

Aubrey kicked the lead to 27-20, and that’s how it ended.

BIRMINGHAM COACH SKIP HOLTZ SAID …

“It came down to making a couple of plays in the fourth quarter, and I was really proud of our team. Certainly not from their execution, but from their resolve and their determination. We had three turnovers in the red zone today, which is very uncharacteristic for us – it’s been one of our strengths. It was uncharacteristic, but I give them a lot of credit. They went and did what they had to do.”

MEMPHIS COACH TODD HALEY SAID …

“I’m so very proud of everybody in that locker room. They made it a joy for me as a head coach. They came to every single meeting, every single practice, every single game … just the joy they took in it. There are some years that are harder than others, but this was not one of those because this group of guys is a really, really unique and special group.”

STANDOUT STATS

McGough continued his MVP-level play, going 22-33-1 passing for 283 yards and two touchdowns.

Davion Davis caught nine balls for 114 yards and Sternberger had 84 yards and a TD on four catches.

“The balls were coming to me, I was finding space getting open, and Alex was just finding me.” Davis said. “Give credit to all the guys on offense doing their job … couldn’t have done it without them.”

C.J. Marable scored a touchdown and ground out 56 yards.

In all, the winners rolled up 404 yards of total offense.

Defensively, Brody Buck was in on nine tackles and Rashad Smith contributed eight.

Nate Brooks had an interception and two pass breakups.

Kelley was 20-30-1 passing for 154 yards and a TD for the Showboats, while Ezra Gray had 83 rushing yards.

Anthony Butler paced the Memphis defense with three solo tackles and a total of eight.

TODAY IN HISTORY

On June 17, 1983, the Birmingham Stallions lost to the Chicago Blitz, 29-14, in front of 22,500 fans at Legion Field.

Chicago running back Tim Spencer rushed for 132 yards on 23 carries to help George Allen’s team improve to 11-5.

Birmingham QB Bobby Lane completed just six of 19 passes for 98 yards and was picked off twice in a loss that dropped the Stallions to 8-8 in their first USFL season.

NEXT UP

The Stallions will face either New Orleans or Houston on Sunday, June 25, in the South Division championship game at Protective Stadium.

Kickoff is set for 6 p.m. CDT with FOX televising.

Another step forward

Once the final horn sounded on Birmingham’s 27-20 victory over Memphis today at Simmons Bank Liberty Stadium, it marked the end of the regular season for both United States Football League teams.

That’s significant.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson and Twitter @adamsonsl

Until this evening, an outdoor pro grid team in Birmingham hadn’t made it through two consecutive seasons since the World League of American Football’s Birmingham Fire (1991-92).

Spring leagues tend to fall, and whenever one can make it to – and through – its sophomore year, well, that’s noteworthy.

And encouraging.

“I just think it speaks volumes that not only is there a lot of competition in the USFL, there’s a lot of equality in this league,” Birmingham coach Skip Holtz said after his team improved to 8-2. “There’s a lot of competitive nature in this league. But also, I would tell you that I think the USFL has proven that it’s here to stay.”

Maybe the football people behind the FOX-owned USFL have finally figured out that the best way to make this non-NFL thing work is to give it time to work. If nothing else, they’ve helped me morph from being cynical to hopeful – even optimistic.

And as you probably know, I’m not prone to optimism when it comes to such ventures. Having lived through all the leagues that have come and gone through the years, I just assumed the shelf life of this one would be short.

History tends to repeat itself, especially when it comes to this particular endeavor.

Perhaps it would make it until the end of its first season, I thought. But bad TV ratings and a mountain of debt would cause the network to shut it down just as it would any TV program that failed to find an audience.

And make no mistake – the USFL is as much a TV series as it is a sports organization.

But the circuit has found an audience – and apparently Nielsen families like what they’re seeing.

The presentation, whether on FOX, NBC or the league’s other outlets, is top-tier. Admittedly, I’m not as enamored with the drone and helmet-cams as some people, but I can certainly appreciate the tech.

And the entertainment is being provided by good football players, most who are trying to level up.

“These 50 young men that I am blessed to have the opportunity to coach every week … if they didn’t have this opportunity, what would they be doing now?” Holtz said. “And to know that out of this league, 70 guys are in (NFL) camp and getting another shot at their dream and what they want to do.

“Some guys are just here because they continue to love to play the game. They may not get another shot and they know that, but they’re here because they love the game. They love the camaraderie, and that’s what it’s all about. And I think that’s why it’ll work. I think it’ll work not only because I think it’s a proven product right now, but I think it’ll work because it’s here for the right reasons.”

There are those who look down their nose at “minor league” sports, but the USFL (and XFL) have shown there are hundreds of talented athletes not currently on NFL or CFL rosters.

And having dealt with several of them this year (mostly Stallions and New Orleans Breakers players due to the Birmingham hub) there are also some pretty good people in the league, too.

As much fun as I’ve had watching, the general consensus is that they’re having even more fun playing.

“I have never had more fun than I have this season,” Birmingham quarterback Alex McGough told me earlier this week. “This is the best year I’ve had of playing football. It’s just fun … it’s like, you go out there and you’re so loose and so confident because you’ve done it before, and the coach believes in you.

“All the guys are really good and we have such a great chemistry with each other that it makes it that much easier to go out there and play.”

While there’s an ebb and flow when it comes to TV viewership, for the most part the USFL continues to perform well enough to satisfy its stakeholders. In-game attendance leaves a lot to be desired (I’m ready for all the teams to have their own homes), but perhaps that’s a side effect of having a product that is so enjoyable to watch from the comfort of your home.

Ultimately, as long as the people paying the bills think it’s worth it, those bills will continue to be paid.

Speaking of being paid … that’s another major plus. To the best of my knowledge, the players, coaches, and staff members of the teams are not missing any paydays, nor are the USFL’s vendors.

Bounced checks, locked stadiums and broken dreams are an alternative football tradition, and it’s nice to see that tradition being ignored.

For the Stallions, there is at least one game left before the curtain falls on the 2023 campaign.

For the Showboats, their focus turns to next year.

And I firmly believe there will be a next year for the modern version of the USFL. In fact, Birmingham and Memphis are already taking season ticket deposits for 2024. I think those are safe investments, because I’m quite confident the league is returning. Honestly, I never thought I’d ever say that about a professional spring football league.