The T-shirt cannon

Every molded plastic chair was taken in the hazy, glass and steel arena, and those without a place to sit pressed against the aluminum rails separating the seating area from the concrete floor.

Shoving matches were already taking place in the stands as everyone packed inside was hoping to secure the best possible spot.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

Time was when The People’s Arena in downtown New Mega-annum City was filled, basketball or ice hockey was the draw. Jamal Felker remembered the days of coming here with his father and watching the New Mega-annum Tarantulas of the World League of Professional Basketball play.

Part of the fan experience was the “T-Shirt Cannon”; each time the Tarantulas scored a 3-point basket, a crew of young people armed with pressurized cylinders would fire T-shirts into the crowd.

Jamal got lucky once – the night the Tarantulas beat the Ocean City Tsunami in a playoff game. Following a 30-foot bucket from team star Rod Arrington, a tee was fired right where Jamal was sitting.

Although there were a sea of arms reaching for the same prize, he was able to snatch the shirt out of the air and cradle it against his stomach.

On the front of the white garment was the team logo – a fierce black and gold spider – while on the back was a list of sponsors, including the New Mega-annum Pest Control Company.

Jamal always thought that was funny … a team with a spider mascot funded by a company that kills, among other things, spiders.

But the Tarantulas were long gone, just as organized professional sports were now nothing more than bittersweet memories. And the irony didn’t seem nearly as humorous these days.

Ever since the Cyber Wars and the formation of the Corporation of Nations, only the extremely wealthy could afford – and had access to – recreation and entertainment.

Jamal had heard there were still elite sports teams, although apparently only the elite knew about them.

But with food, housing and healthcare in short supply, “the little people” didn’t have the luxury of cheering for men and women playing a child’s game. Instead, three times a year they’d pack into arenas like this one hoping to catch a T-shirt – and catch a big break.

As the lights in each section of The People’s Arena dimmed, the spotlight glared on what used to be center court. Two people armed with T-shirt cannons were situated at each end, while three lined up on either side of the floor.

The hype guy – a man wearing a red fedora and oversized yellow sunglasses – stood in the middle, holding a microphone.

For the price of seven Corporation Credits, people could spend 30 minutes inside the arena in hopes of being on the receiving end of a launch.

This was the 17th time Jamal had attended one of these events, and each was identical. Over half an hour, 10 shooters – known as the Launch Crew – would fire 20 shirts apiece into various sections of the crowd.

The hype guy would whip them into a frenzy with prompts such as, “The next shirt goes to the loudest section!” or “Let’s see your dance moves, beautiful people!”

Perhaps 18,000 were inside today, but only 200 would walk away with a coveted tee.

“Are you ready, New Mega-annum City?” screamed the hype guy who – as far as Jamal knew – had never given his name. “Show me your best dance moves!”

Everyone rose and everyone danced, some simply swaying awkwardly while others gyrated like they were possessed. The automated lighting moved across the arena, ultimately stopping to showcase some of the more enthusiastic performers.

The cannons then fired simultaneously, sending shirts sailing to every part of the arena.

One – propelled from the end of the floor closest to Jamal – hit a young girl squarely on her head. But before she could reach up to grab it a sea of adults pounced on her, hitting and clawing in an effort to seize the prize.

The “winner” was a tall, heavyset man in his mid-50s, who quickly pulled the tee over his head and raised his arms in triumph.

The barcode on the front of the shirt was scanned by one of camouflaged security personnel, who escorted him to the “ready room” while the young girl lay crying and bleeding.

The scene repeated itself for the next several minutes; T-shirts went flying, along with bodies.

Roughly 20 minutes into the event Jamal got his chance. He had noticed one of the Launch Crew members always seemed to aim between section 213 and 214, so he worked his way up to the area.

As one of the cloth projectiles came his way, he charged toward it, snared it with his left hand, and never broke stride as he deftly ran down the steps.

A youngster had caught his eye earlier – one who reminded him of himself during those simpler times when arenas were for sports and T-shirts were worn for fun.

He grabbed the startled child, quickly pulled the tee over his head, and forced a smile.

“Go, kid,” he said. “Be brave and good luck.”

The member of the security team charged with scanning the code looked at Jamal, shook his head, and then took the child away.

Jamal hoped he had done the right thing.

The T-shirt meant the kid would be transported to one of the space stations floating far above his dying planet. Yes, he’d be used as a laborer at a Corporation of Nations warehouse, but at least he’d be assured of food and shelter. He’d have a chance to grow up – and maybe even grow old.

But after seeing all the violence at The People’s Arena – and the increasingly grotesque nature of the humans who filled it in hopes of being shipped off to a “better world” – Jamal was unsure if he was helping or hurting the child.

All he could do was hope, even though any hope that remained for the residents of New Mega-annum City came at the end of a T-shirt cannon.

The bartender

The drinkery at the Ambassador in Washington, D.C., was typical of most motel watering holes. A flat screen TV hung over the bar and the lounge itself – which blended into the lobby – had five tables with a small candle situated in the middle of each one.

There was no one at the bar, so Mallory decided to grab a stool and watch the last couple of innings of the Baltimore-Boston baseball game.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

“What’s your pleasure?” asked the bartender, a 60ish man with tightly curled white hair and a deeply lined face.

“Vodka and orange juice,” Mallory said. “Well brand is fine.”

Mallory’s bar routine back in Asheville, North Carolina, involved getting to Will O’ The Wisp early in the evening, where her drinking buddy Arlie would usually already be there – and be well on the way to getting lubricated.

Mallory would throw back some drinks, make the last call around 11, and spend the walk back to her apartment daydreaming about how much better her boyfriend’s life would be if she wasn’t in it.

Well, this getaway to the nation’s capital was her chance, and it was nearing its conclusion. Amidst all the planning that went into her solo trip, Mallory hadn’t really taken stock of the real reason for the “vacation.”

Yes, she had visited the Entertainment and Sports Arena to watch the Washington Mystics play the Atlanta Dream, but that was all just window dressing, really. In actuality, she was running away from what had become her home and running toward her original home.

At some point later that night, she’d go back to her hotel, send her boyfriend, Mike, a “Dear John” text, and then disappear from his life forever.

It was like entering the Federal Witness Protection Program, only she wasn’t the target of criminals – at least not in the traditional sense.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Mike – she absolutely did. But the situation was untenable, and there was no way she could explain why; he simply wouldn’t believe her.

That was a sobering thought, and Mallory didn’t want to be sober yet.

So, one drink became two and two became six, and as the buzz kicked in, she noticed the bartender seemed to be keeping a close eye on her.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Mallory said. “I’m not driving anywhere. In fact, I’m just a couple of doors down.”

The bartender laughed.

“Good to know,” he said. “I send for a lot of cabs and I needed to make sure you were riding and not driving anywhere. My name’s Carl, by the way.”

Other than ordering drinks, Mallory had stayed quiet most of the night, but as patrons ducked in and ducked out for a quick snort, Mallory decided it might be nice to have someone to talk to.

“Nice to meet you, Carl,” Mallory said. “I’m staying here for a couple of days and got to watch a WNBA game live. I’ve grown to love basketball over the past several years, and it was nice to be at the arena to see it live.”

“Are you here by yourself?” Carl asked.

“I am,” Mallory said. “I’m from North Carolina and I’m kinda running away from home. I, uh … I just need to get away from my boyfriend. It’s for his own good.”

“Trust me … it makes sense – perfect sense,” said Carl, wiping down the counter. “I took a solo road trip myself a couple of years ago. Drove all the way to the West Coast and back, just to see the sights.”

“Cool,” Mallory said. “That had to be a lot of fun.”

Carl managed a weak smile and paused before answering.

“It was more therapeutic than anything,” Carl said. “I had just lost my wife. We had planned a cross country trip together but she died suddenly. Not unexpectedly, but suddenly.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Mallory said. “I’m sure that would’ve meant a lot to her – you know, being able to travel the country with you.”

“Well, we still got to go,” Carl said. “She was cremated, so I took her with me. At every stop we’d talked about – places in Oklahoma, New Mexico, Nevada – I’d scatter some of her ashes. Thing is, she didn’t have to die … if only I’d done what you’re doing, things would’ve been different for her. ”

Mallory ordered one more drink, downed it, and laid down a 100-dollar bill.

“Thanks for your hospitality, Carl,” Mallory said. “And advice. Just keep the change.”

Carl crumpled the bill, stuffed it into his pocket and gently grabbed Mallory’s right shoulder.

“You’re doing the right thing, Mallory, even though it hurts.” he said. “Be safe … and know he’ll be well.”

Mallory nodded, and gave him a knowing wink. She then scurried out of the bar, walked out of the main door of the Ambassador, punched in coordinates on her phone, and eyed the night sky.

If things were different, she would head back to Mike immediately, give him a big, lingering hug, and tell him she loved him more than anything on earth.

And it was true – she did.

But mating with a human was the ultimate taboo on her planet, and she knew if she didn’t leave earth, the bounty hunters from Luyten b would find Mike and kill him.

Sadly, Carl – and his wife – had already been given an object lesson in how cruel interplanetary justice can be.

Time to decide

Clancy Meadows walked into the lobby of the Moment In Time corporate office with all his paperwork completed and, more importantly, the non-refundable amber token needed to pay for the company’s services.

An “amber” – which amounted to 100 dollars in early American currency – seemed like an extremely cheap price to pay to not only travel through time, but to change it.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

But that’s what made Moment In Time so popular. While it didn’t allow extended visits to the past or future, or give clients license to completely rewrite their history, it promised to help them make one adjustment during a relatively specific point in their lives.

In the case of Clancy that point was February 28, 2087. He had been taking guitar lessons for three weeks but baseball season was approaching. If he wanted to try out for the team – and make it – the lessons would have to go.

His guitar teacher worked with him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 4 p.m., and those times would be in direct conflict with lessons.

So, as 10-year-olds sometimes do, he chose chasing balls in the sun rather than plucking away on a six-string.

Sixty years later, he regretted that decision.

His baseball “career” ended during his second year at Learn Camp when he took a line drive to the knee. The stiffness had only gotten worse as the years went by, and he wondered how different his life would be if he had only learned to shred the axe.

Maybe he wouldn’t have become a rock star, but then again, perhaps that’s exactly what he’d become.

So, instead of choosing baseball, he would continue his lessons.

“Hello, Mr. Meadows, is it? I’m Ross Wilbanks and I’ll be helping you.”

Wilbanks was perched behind an antique desk, and Clancy sat across from him and handed over his papers and token.

“Uh huh … yep,” Wilbanks muttered as he looked them over. “Very good. You’ve got an exact date which helps tremendously. Now, are you familiar with the procedure?”

Clancy shrugged.

“I guess so,” he said. “I assume I go into a room that has that portal thing, undo what I did, and then when I come back through, everything will have changed. I gotta say, it’s kinda creepy, though. Didn’t his building used to be a crematorium?”

Wilbanks smiled.

“It did … a long time ago. Turns out the design makes it perfect for our time travel apparatus,” he said. “Anyway, when you come back through the portal, you’ll have no idea what happened. In fact, chances are, you’ll freak out a bit. So, what we do is inject you with a sedative almost immediately and put you in a recovery room. You’ll be out for 90 minutes to an hour and when you come to, we’ll have an associate there to explain who you are and what you went through.”

Clancy frowned.

“Explain who I am?” he asked. “You mean I’m not gonna have any memory of this life? What about my wife and kids? And friends.”

Wilbanks grabbed the token and began rolling it with his fingers.

“Mr. Meadows, time travel is extremely complex,” he said. “So many people seem to think they can relive their life, yet still maintain memories from a life they already lived. Think about it … if you change the arc of your life, this – you right here, right now – won’t exist. The person who comes back through the portal will be the person who made the decision to play guitar, not play baseball. Will you marry the same woman? I have no idea. Will you have kids? Maybe, maybe not.”

“But,” Clancy said, “if I don’t marry the same woman, I won’t have the same kids. Are you saying there’s a chance my kids won’t exist if I go back?”

Wilbanks raised his eyebrows.

“Well, yes,” he said. “That’s one of the by-products of time travel. It’s not just your time that changes, it’s everyone you interacted with. But look at it this way, if your kids are never born, it’s not like they’ll miss being alive. Plus, how cool will it be to know you chased the dream you should’ve chased to begin with? You might even find out you’re famous and wealthy.”

Clancy stood up and began rubbing his forehead.

“I can’t do this,” he said. “I didn’t realize … I didn’t think about how this might affect other people. Just throw the paperwork away. And since the token is non-refundable, I’m just gonna chalk it up to a lesson learned. Goodbye.”

Wilbanks watched his client leave the building before pressing the small button beneath his desk.

“Telford,” he said. “How many tokens have we collected today?’

There was a slight pause.

“Looks like … 47. No … 48.”

“Not bad. Not bad at all. Did anybody go through with it?

“Just one guy. I gave him every opportunity to walk away but he was determined.”

Wilbanks sighed.

“OK. Well, just incinerate the body and tell whoever he listed as a contact that he chose not to return from the past. You know, Telford, one of these days people might just get wise to the fact that time travel isn’t a thing. Until then, I’m just gonna keep counting the tokens.

“You ready for lunch? I could eat.”