Scott Adamson, Author at Adamsonmedia.com

Apollos bring the fun to Alliance

After two weeks of league play, the Orlando Apollos (2-0) are arguably the Alliance of American Football’s best team.

There’s little argument, however, about the entertainment value of Steve Spurrier’s charges.

They’re a blast.

Orlando rallied from an early 12-0 deficit to defeat the San Antonio Commanders, 37-29, on Sunday afternoon in the best game of the weekend and – if we’re being honest – the most watchable contest the Alliance has produced so far.

The winners racked up 428 yards, including 393 through the air, to improve to 2-0 on the season.

Garrett Gilbert had a terrific game behind center, connecting on 19 of 28 passes for nearly 400 yards and two touchdowns.

Charles Johnson was Gilbert’s favorite target, hauling in seven balls for 192 yards and a score.

“A big takeaway for me is I had a lot of fun, and that’s something that I’ve really been focusing on,” said Johnson, who had a stint with the Minnesota Vikings. “Playing a sport again is really having fun with it, because I’ve kind of lost that desire to really have fun playing in the NFL for the first five or six years. It’s kind of just became part of my … what I did was a job. I kind of lost the fun and the love of the game.

“So, getting back to loving the game and having fun with it with a group of guys as passionate and willing to come out here to compete every day, I’m excited about that.”

**Orlando receiver Charles Johnson (12) celebrates after scoring a touchdown during the second quarter against the San Antonio Commanders on Sunday. (Photo by Ronald Cortes/AAF/Getty Images)**

Gilbert found eight different receivers for the Apollos, who have now put up a league best 77 points.

THE IRON CURTAIN

Sometimes, not even your best is good enough.

Other times, just enough is all you need.

Birmingham gutted out a 12-9 victory over Salt Lake on Saturday in improving to 2-0, and the contest was not – for the most part – aesthetically pleasing.

The victors netted only 216 yards of total offense and lost two fumbles, while the losers turned the ball over twice and missed three field goals.

But the object of the game is to secure the “W,” and that’s what the Iron did, staying perfect at Legion Field.

Once again it was defense and special teams leading the way; a muffed punt turned into Birmingham’s first touchdown, and the defense limited the Stallions to 105 passing yards and 256 total.

“Our defensive coordinator (Rick Minter) wasn’t here (Saturday) so I had the honor of calling a game for the first time in a long time,” Iron coach Tim Lewis said. “We did a nice job and the guys played hard, fast, tough, and played smart, did what we asked them to do. We did a nice job on third down and we did a nice job finishing the game. We had some adversity situations, and they did a nice job stepping up and making plays.”

In a 26-0 season-opening win over Memphis, special teams contributed four field goals and punts that forced the Express to work with a long field. Versus Salt Lake, they delivered in a different way.

“Fortunately, for our special teams, we were able to get a fumble and turn it into a touchdown,” Lewis said. “That was huge for us. Our special teams came up big again and really excited about the way the team played. Every day I meet with them about playing fast, smart, tough and to this point, two games into it, 2-0 and looking forward to getting ready for Atlanta, they’re doing exactly that.

“I cannot really ask for any more.”

STAYING HOT

The Arizona Hotshots join Orlando and Birmingham as the three undefeated teams left in the Alliance, and they did it the hard way on Saturday.

Arizona had to rally from a 12-0 halftime deficit to escape with a 20-18 victory over the Memphis Express before 11,980 fans at the Liberty Bowl.

“Memphis came out inspired and gave us fits with their defense,” Hotshots coach Rick Neuheisel said. “I coached with (Memphis defensive coordinator) Dennis Thurman a long time, and he had some tricks up his sleeve and basically stymied us, and those three first half turnovers put us in a real hole. But I found out a little bit about my team. I kinda expected we had that kind of grit and resolve, and we came roaring back.

“Our tempo put them in a little bit of a quandary.”

COMMANDING ATTENTION

San Antonio has played two home games, and the team is proving to be quite popular in the River City.

**San Antonio has drawn nearly 30,000 fans to each of its two home games. (Photo by Edward A. Ornelas/AAF/Getty Images)**

Saturday night the Commanders drew 29,176 paying customers to the Alamodome, besting week one’s mark of 27,857. San Antonio is far and away the top draw in the young league, with only Orlando and San Diego eclipsing the 20,000 mark in their lone home games.

Atlanta and Salt Lake have yet to play in their friendly confines, so it’ll be interesting to see if they can challenge San Antonio as the Alliance’s top hot spot for fans.

STILL SEARCHING

Speaking of the Legends and Stallions, they are two of the three winless teams remaining in the Alliance, with Memphis also 0-2.

Atlanta jumped out to a 9-0 first quarter lead but fell to San Diego on Sunday night, 24-12, giving the Fleet their first victory in pro football’s return to “America’s Finest City.”

Ironically, Salt Lake and Memphis also had 9-0 leads before fading down the stretch and losing their games.

UP NEXT

On Saturday it’s 2-0 Arizona at 0-2 Salt Lake, and 0-2 Memphis at 2-0 Orlando.

On Sunday 2-0 Birmingham plays at 0-2 Atlanta and 1-1 San Antonio travels to 1-1 San Diego.

Follow Scott Adamson on Twitter @adamsonsl. Email him at sladamson1960@gmail.com.

Sometimes, a bathroom needs a hero

Now that I have successfully transitioned from working a full-time job to being a (participation) trophy husband, I have taken on a much larger domestic role.

**Brain Farce is a humor column written by Scott Adamson. It comes out basically whenever he feels like writing it. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl**

And believe it or not, I take great pride in keeping the bathrooms in our house sparkling clean. In fact – as weird as it sounds – it has become my favorite household task, one that I do almost every day and take very, very seriously.

I like to think of it as a domestic superpower and myself as a crime fighter.

Or maybe a grime fighter; I won’t quibble over labels.

And as long as you stay on top of the “facility situation” it never has to get disgusting, like when bathrooms start to look like what I call “gas station toilets.”

That description should be self-explanatory but, if not, imagine walking into what appears to be a crime scene that smells of urine, rotten opossum and desperation.

Throw in fecal matter that has been randomly distributed throughout the facility and a condom machine, and the picture is complete.

(It should be noted that some gas stations bathrooms are well-maintained and I salute those fearless souls who make it so. The worst ones are often the “Mom and Pop” variety found on secondary roads – the establishments where you have to ask an attendant for a key that’s attached to a large board with a “Keep On Truckin’” sticker on it).

The worst I’ve ever encountered was on a back road while I traveling from Greenville, South Carolina, to Augusta, Georgia.

I was low on gas and felt the need to get a delicious and nutritious bag of potato chips, and I came upon an old convenience store.

As is my custom, I always take the opportunity to make the bladder gladder on any travel stop, especially since my bladder is, apparently, the size of a peanut. So, after gassing up and securing chips, I asked the attendant where the restroom was.

“It’s out back,” he said. “But the lock don’t work.”

That was fine with me; all I was planning was a splash and go, anyway.

But once I pushed open the door, what I saw can never be unseen.

This bathroom looked as though it had – quite literally – never been cleaned.

The sheer smell was overwhelming, and it became obvious that over time dudes stopped even trying to aim when they peed.

As for what was in the toilet, the better question is, what was not?

If it could be expelled from a body, it had been expelled here, and over time the unholy union of various forms of human waste had created what I call Excreta Maxima – a sewage super villain.

I have a relatively strong stomach, but this triggered my gag reflex big-time and there was no way in hell I was going to venture any further into this house of horrors.

I ran to my car – I’m pretty sure I was crying – and as I drove away I vowed to never, ever allow any bathroom in any house I live in to be anything but pristine.

Just as Batman swore vengeance against all criminals and Spider-Man protects the “little guy,” I shall forever battle the forces of poo.

So if you ever come to my home and need to use the facilities, you’ll be treated to shiny fixtures, fresh-smelling towels and a chamber pot as clean as any you’ve ever seen.

This is my mission.

This is my promise.

I am … Toilet Man.

Justin Tuck proud to team up with Alliance

When you spend three decades as a newspaper sportswriter, you tend to forget as many players as you remember – especially when covering high school athletics.

**Scott Adamson writes about alternative pro football leagues because it makes him happy. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl**

Justin Tuck, though?

Yeah, I remember him quite well from my days at The Daily Home.

As an all-star athlete at Central High School of Coosa County in Alabama, he was a dual threat for the Cougars’ football team as a defensive end and tight end.

He was named Class 4A Player of the Year in 2000 – capping off a career that ended with 492 tackles and 37 sacks as well as 2,106 receiving yards and 17 TDs.

He had his pick of colleges and he chose Notre Dame, where he set several defensive records – including tackles for loss (43) and sacks (13.5) in a single season.

The next step was an NFL career and Tuck had a great one, spent mostly with the New York Giants.

By the time he was done he had a pair of Super Bowl rings, two Pro Bowl appearances, and in 2016 was inducted into the Giants’ ring of honor.

So when I listened to him speak to members of the media last Sunday after the Alliance of American Football Game at Legion Field, it was a bit of a nostalgia trip for me. I’m guessing the last time I had actually talked to him was during a phone interview while he was still playing for the Fighting Irish.

Now a member of the Alliance’s Player Engagement Board of Advisors, he seems genuinely excited about his role in the new venture.

“We were pleasantly surprised by the product on the field last weekend,” said Tuck, who was in his home state to watch the Birmingham Iron blank the Memphis Express, 26-0. “We’re really excited about bringing the Alliance to all these players who need a second chance. In my time in the NFL, we were always around guys who were just on the cusp, who just needed a little more experience to go to the next level. So I’m very excited and proud to be part of the AAF.”

First impressions are important, and the Alliance made a good one.

OK, maybe fans of the losing teams weren’t overly thrilled, but the presentation of the product – and the product itself – was ahead of the curve.

“The feedback we’re getting is great,” Tuck said. “Obviously we still have some things to work on, we still have some bumps we need to clear out, but hopefully I think we’re built for success. We’ll continue to walk this thing forward. We’re not trying to hit a home run overnight, but we know there are a lot of steps to get where we want to be.”

**Justin Tuck won two Super Bowls while playing with the New York Giants. (Scott Adamson photo)**

One of Tuck’s duties is to help shape policy in the league, ensuring that the needs of the players are met first and foremost, and that the Alliance is a fan-friendly experience.

But with his All-Pro credentials he also knows how to spot skill, and he saw plenty of it during the league’s opening weekend.

“I think one of the most pleasant surprises was the talent level,” he said. “I was very impressed with the quality of football and the response I’ve gotten, from social media to fans, has been the same. Look – this is a new league – there are a lot of logistical things we need to shore up, but that’s to be expected. At the end of the day, we can only go so far as the product takes us, and that’s the players in this game.

“There are some talented people out here.”

Certainly Tuck has nothing to prove by hitching his wagon to a spring football league.

His “life after football” is already a success; he has an MBA from The Wharton School, works as a Goldman Sachs vice president and – along with his wife, Lauran – has created the Tuck’s R.U.S.H for Literacy program. Its aim is to bring the same opportunities that made them successful to low-income kids in New York, New Jersey and Alabama.

Still, he relishes helping build something new and different in the world of professional football.

“A lot of people watched the games on TV and we were in the top 20 trending topics on social media, and that’s a good first weekend,” Tuck said. “We understand this was one week, and if we go where we want to go, we have to put our hardhats back on and our work boots back on.”

Hard work has never been a problem for Tuck – one of the true class acts in professional sports.

I’m proud to say I “knew him when.”

It’s kinda cool to know him now, too.