Hunting Easter eggs

Last Saturday morning I was walking through our neighborhood and thanks to the summer-like weather, it was buzzing with activity. Aside from the normal sight of people mowing lawns and trimming hedges, there were young children with baskets trundling through their respective yards.

Turns out the yards were covered in colorful plastic eggs, and as I smiled and waved at a neighbor, she informed me that her kids were enjoying an Easter egg hunt.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

So I watched for a minute, and basically what I saw were cute little girls and cute little boys just randomly picking up faux eggs and placing them in their baskets.

The process didn’t take long because – again – the eggs were in plain sight. There’s no way the kids could’ve missed them.

I like to think of myself as a good neighbor and a nice person, so I didn’t say anything. But I’m telling you, this was not a hunt of any kind. This wasn’t even a “fish in a barrel” situation. It was more like, “Hey kids … try not to step on an egg when you’re picking up another egg here in this field of copious eggs.”

According to the dictionary, the first definition of “hunt” is to “pursue or kill for sport or food” and the second is “search determinedly for someone or something.”

OK, maybe in the technical sense these kids were pursuing plastic eggs for sport and searching determinedly for them so they were, in fact “hunting” eggs. But to my mind a real, working definition of “hunt” requires at least a rudimentary level of difficulty.

So let’s return to those thrilling days of yesteryear when I was a small, bespectacled child adorned in a Nehru shirt, polyester shorts and Keds.

We had actual, sure enough Easter egg hunts because the Easter eggs were hidden. And I don’t mean they were placed atop a clump of grass or situated by a column on a front porch – they were carefully tucked away in hard to reach, hard to find spots.

In fact, when it was time to hunt Easter eggs, I was never asked, “Do you want to hunt Easter eggs?” I was told by my mother, “I’m going to hide eggs.” (It was implied that since they were hidden, they should subsequently be hunted).

The entire ritual took place over a 24-hour period. First mother would boil actual eggs (I’m not condoning the use of real eggs, I’m just telling you this was my experience) and once they cooled, she would dye them. I remember other kids would have brightly colored eggs and some even had designs because their parents used coloring kits.

Not mom.

Her eggs were usually what I would call either “crime scene red” or “brutal bleeding blue.” They were also splotchy, so they had a bit of a Jackson Pollock vibe, even though I had no idea who Jackson Pollock was at the time.

As for the hiding, I’m sure much of that job was farmed out to my brother, who was 12 years older than me. He would hide them in trees, under manholes, inside mailboxes – I think he even buried a few with the aid of a trowel.

But mom – who had a bit of a mean streak – wasn’t totally uninvolved with the cloaking of the eggs. I can never prove it, of course, but I’m pretty sure she once flung one into the open window of a moving automobile.

By the end of the day many eggs went unclaimed (the one in the car possibly even wound up in another state), but those I found were like gold to me because I had earned them. And there was nothing quite so satisfying as peeling those little suckers and eating them. A boiled egg that has been unrefrigerated, exposed to the elements for a full day and then devoured tastes like victory.

Now, far be it from me to tell anyone how to raise their children. And if having kids stomp through a yard full of plastic eggs randomly tossed on the ground is your idea of a “hunt,” I won’t argue with you. But the old ways are sometimes the best ways. And if you happen to find an egg in your mailbox this weekend – or notice one in the backseat of your car – then you’ll know a real Easter egg hunt is afoot.

In search of the Birmingham Moonshiners

OK, maybe there’s someone out there who can help me – unless, of course, I’m dealing with a false memory.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

When I was a kid – somewhere between the ages of 7 and 9 – I was watching television before heading out to school. And if you were a kid growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, and watching weekday morning TV in the late 1960s, chances are it was something called “The Tom York Morning Show.” Hosted by (spoiler alert!) Tom York, it had news, sports, weather, talk and a bit of this to go with a little of that. And one daily segment featured human interest-type stories with in-studio guests.

Now, here’s where I need assistance.

I could almost swear that one guest was the coach of a semi-pro football team called the Birmingham Moonshiners. I was wildly excited because football was something I had only recently discovered and I didn’t realize Birmingham even had a team. Also, I didn’t know what moonshine was but I was already a big werewolf fan so I was hoping it had something to do with the moon shining on a man-beast. (Only later did I learn it was an adult beverage you drink that can cause you to think you see werewolves).

Anyway, I remember the coach narrating over some grainy, black and white 8mm film featuring one of the Moonshiners’ games. (I think they wore dark jerseys and dark helmets, although I have no idea what the colors were because, you know, black and white film).

I headed off to school hoping to learn more, and I must’ve talked about the Moonshiners with other kids who had seen the segment.

I guess I got distracted, though, because by the time the weekend came I’d turned my attention to the “Batman/Superman Hour of Adventure” and “Banana Splits.”

Since then, however, I’ll occasionally think about the Moonshiners and once I started getting serious about sports research a few years ago I decided I’d find out all I could about this team.

Only problem is, I’ve found out absolutely nothing.

When I narrow my search down to the 1960s, the only semi-pro teams I come across from the era are the Birmingham Vulcans (not to be confused with the 1975 World Football League franchise) and Birmingham All-Stars. The Continental Football League had a franchise called the Alabama Hawks that played mostly in Huntsville before making a brief stop in Birmingham until folding in 1969, but the COFL was a “major” minor league.

When you look for “Birmingham Moonshiners” in any newspaper during the 1960s you’ll discover a few unrelated stories. For example, a German Shepherd named “King” was used to sniff out moonshine stills in Birmingham in 1961, and in 1968 100 stills around Birmingham were destroyed and 60 moonshiners arrested as part of “Operation Dryup.”

Do a search for “Moonshiners football” and you learn there was a Fall Rivers, Massachusetts, soccer team called the Moonshiners that played in the early 1900s, and that moonshiners in Oregon had turned football lockers into distilleries in 1926.

Interesting, but not the information I needed.

So, was there even a football team called the Birmingham Moonshiners, or is it something I remember because I want it to be true?

According to the American Psychological Association, a false memory is “… a distorted recollection of an event or, most severely, recollection of an event that never actually happened. False memories are errors of commission, because details, facts, or events come to mind, often vividly, but the remembrances fail to correspond to prior events.”

Maybe that’s it.

Or perhaps – and this is my main theory – the Moonshiners were simply a team with so brief a history they never warranted any media coverage other than a plug on “The Tom York Morning Show.” You can’t swing a chinstrap without hitting a semi-pro football team, and that was as true in the 1960s as it is today.

But if you ever coached them, played for them or think you heard of them, please let me know. It doesn’t rank as one of the world’s big mysteries, but it’s still one I’d like to see solved.

UBL swung and missed

Baseball fans were caught in the middle of a Major League crisis in the summer of 1994.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

A strike that began on Aug. 12 wiped out the remainder of the regular season and playoffs, and caused the World Series to be canceled for the first time since 1904. But what if a new league came along – one with incentives that would lessen the possibility of work stoppages? Would that tempt followers of the National Pastime to move past the traditional big leagues and give a different circuit a try?

The founders of the United Baseball League certainly hoped so, and on November 1, 1994, they announced that the National and American leagues were about to have company.

“We’re not here to prod the establishment and we’re not here to replace it,” co-founder Dick Moss told the Associated Press. “We’re here to coexist with it. We will compete, just as Ford competes with General Motors.”

When I first heard about the UBL it piqued my interest. I was already a fan of alternative sports leagues and MLB had gone seemingly forever without any real competition. Maybe this would rock the boat a bit.

“Every sports league in this country had been controlled by a bunch of rich, white guys,” UBL co-founder Bob Mrazek said to AP. “We will offer a level of play which is comparable to major league baseball. We will build our success on a philosophy of true partnership. Our plans call for sharing and equity sharing arrangements with our players and our host cities.”

During the league’s inaugural news conference, it was announced that the goal was to sell 10 franchises for $5 million each, with eight in the United States, one in Canada, and one in Mexico. Play would begin in 1996 and by 1999 six expansion teams – including four from Asia – would be added.

Curt Flood, part of the UBL management group and a legendary figure in the sport’s labor movement, said there would be franchises in Puerto Rico, Taiwan and the Dominican Republic.

“We’re not limited to just the United States,” Flood said. “It’ll be a very high caliber, high class of competition. In some ways, this is a rare opportunity. If you were going to construct a league designed to avoid the problems of the past, how would you do it?”

Players were to receive 35 percent of pretax profits of the UBL, while host cities would get 15 percent plus 50 percent of luxury suite income and one-third of parking revenue.

In 1996 the projected average attendance would be 17,500 with ticket prices around $8 and an average player salary of $520,000. Players would be eligible for free agency after three seasons in the UBL.

In addition, the league agreed to a 20-year TV deal with Liberty Sports Network.

All of it sounded good to me – except for the 1996 part. While I understood the pitfalls of rushing to market, the strike was still fresh on everyone’s mind and a new league debuting in the spring of 1995 might still have some anti-MLB momentum.

Instead, the founders opted to take their time and, supposedly, do things right.

After the November unveiling UBL officials spent the next few months putting their plan into action, and in 1995 it was revealed that the inaugural season would begin on March 28, 1996. Instead of 162 games, the regular season would consist of 154 games, returning to MLB’s “old” format.

The Eastern Division would include Central Florida (Kissimmee), Long Island, Puerto Rico (Bayamon), and Washington, D.C.

Los Angeles, New Orleans, Portland, and Vancouver would comprise the Western Division. There was even talk of bringing in Pete Rose – famously banned from baseball – as skipper of the New Orleans entry.

As for talent, the idea was to initially go after free agents and international stars.

But, as is the case with most upstarts, starting up is often the biggest problem. In December, 1995, Moss announced that the league would postpone its first season until 1997 due to stadium issues and snags in the TV contract.

Then, after four months of silence, the UBL released a statement on April 11, 1996, that it was suspending operations “until further notice.”

And as you’ve probably noticed, 25 years later the UBL remains suspended.

Apparently there were several factors involved in the failure to launch. For one thing, Liberty merged with Fox Sports, and that included Major League Baseball broadcast rights.

But by 1996 the strike of 1994 was ancient history to sports fans, and any window of opportunity for the UBL to make a splash was closed.

Still, it was an interesting idea, and I often wonder how far it would’ve gotten if it had been able to take the field in 1995.

And who knows? Perhaps some entrepreneurs with more money than business sense might want to give the United Baseball League another go. After all, Rose still needs a club to manage.