Scott Adamson, Author at Adamsonmedia.com

Playoffs return to the Ham

OK, gang, the Birmingham Stallions defeated the Houston Gamblers today, 38-15, which means the United States Football League’s South Division title game will be played at Protective Stadium on Sunday, June 25.

“What an honor for us to be in the playoffs again,” Birmingham coach Skip Holtz said. “What a great accomplishment for this football program.”

**Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson and Twitter @adamsonsl**

But now it’s time for a pop quiz.

When was the last time a professional football team based in Birmingham hosted a playoff game?

You in the front … the one wearing the vintage Lionel Messi/Barcelona jersey.

“Last Wednesday. Birmingham Legion FC hosted Inter Miami CF in a U.S. Open Cup quarterfinal match.”

Hmmm … you’ve got me there. It’s association football and a single-elimination tournament qualifies as a playoff, so I’ll allow it. But that wasn’t what I meant, so let me clarify.

I’ll word it this way … when was the last time a professional tackle football team based in Birmingham hosted a playoff game?

Yeah, the guy in the back with your hand up … the one wearing the vintage Kurt Warner/Iowa Barnstormers jersey … go.

“August 17, 2002. The af2 Birmingham Steeldogs hosted the Peoria Pirates in the conference championship game.”

Well, you got me, there. That’s correct and I’ll give you proper credit, but it’s not what I’m looking for.

I’ll rephrase the question … when was the last time an 11-player professional outdoor tackle football team based in Birmingham hosted a playoff game?

All right, you … the one wearing the vintage Marcella Sanborn/Cleveland Daredevils jersey.

“January 18, 2003. The Birmingham Steel Magnolias were the host team for the Women’s Football Association championship game between the Jacksonville Dixie Blues and Indianapolis Vipers, which was played in Birmingham.”

Dang, we got a buncha brainiacs.

That’s the right answer, but I’m obviously asking the wrong question.

I’m gonna try this once more – and this is as clear as I know how to make it:

When was the last time an 11-player men’s professional outdoor tackle football team based in Birmingham hosted a playoff game?

Anyone?

It’s a shame no one wearing a vintage Kurt Warner/Amsterdam Admirals jersey raised a hand. I’ll bet they’d know.

You have to go back 32 years to find the correct answer, and that answer is June 1, 1991. That was the day the Birmingham Fire of the World League of American Football welcomed the Barcelona Dragons to Legion Field in a semi-final playoff game.

A crowd of 37,590 showed up to cheer on the Fire, but five turnovers doomed the home team in a sloppy, boring, 10-3 loss.

And if you’re keeping score at home, that was the sixth time the Magic City had showcased a postseason gridiron contest in a play-for-pay men’s league.

The Birmingham Americans hosted two in 1974 on their way to the World Football League championship; the original Stallions totaled three in their three years of existence; and the Fire had the one-and-done in 1991.

Since then, nothing.

The Birmingham Barracudas of the Canadian Football League played one playoff contest in 1995, but that was in San Antonio. (And before you call me out, I realize the CFL plays 12-man football).

The Birmingham Thunderbolts of the original XFL (2001) were the worst team in the league, and at 2-8 didn’t sniff the postseason.

And the Alliance of American Football Birmingham Iron (2019) secured a playoff berth with a 5-3 record, but the league never reached a ninth week.

Finally, though, Birmingham is back in the pro football postseason business. In two weeks, Protective Stadium will feature the Stallions and either New Orleans, Houston or Memphis.

“The fans are great,” Holtz said. “They’re unbelievable. They’ve been awesome at home. What a treat to know that we’re gonna have the opportunity to play one more game in Birmingham in the 2023 season, so I can’t say thank you enough to them.”

The event – and playoffs are events – will be a long time coming for the city, and a first-time occurrence for the newish stadium in the Uptown.

And who knows?

One day it might be the correct answer to a pop quiz question.

Get your Stallions jerseys ready …

Plenty at stake as Stallions, Gamblers tangle again

**Alex McGough and the Stallions hope to wrap up a playoff berth on Sunday.**

Round two of the 2023 Birmingham-Houston series is set for Sunday at Simmons Bank Liberty Stadium in Memphis. And if you like high-stakes regular season clashes, this one most certainly fits the bill.

The Stallions enter the contest atop the South Division with 6-2 record, while the Gamblers stand at 5-3.

But Houston defeated Birmingham 27-20 in Week 5, so a sweep by Curtis Johnson’s team means the Gamblers will overtake Skip Holtz’s club.

“Right now, we’re thinking about going 1-0, and I’m focused on getting revenge against Houston,” Birmingham tight end Jace Sternberger said.

If that happens and the Stallions improve to 7-2, they secure a playoff spot and move a step closer to a division crown. A positive result for Birmingham would leave Houston on the outside looking in for a postseason berth, pending the fortunes of the Memphis Showboats (5-3) and New Orleans Breakers (5-3), who meet today in Memphis.

Currently, all four teams have 2-2 divisional records.

Translation?

The South Division is a cluster.

“We’re sitting here at 6-2, and we have a chance to clinch a playoff berth, which is ultimately what this is all about,” Stallions coach Skip Holtz said. “We started eight weeks ago and knew there were four teams in the South who’d be fighting for two spots.

“There’s an awful lot riding on this. This is the team that beat us the first time around, and we feel like from a tiebreaker standpoint and everything else this is a really big game for us.”

Once again running the offensive show for Birmingham is quarterback Alex McGough, who continues to lead the USFL in passing touchdowns (16) and points (120). He’s completed 68 percent of his passes for 1,614 yards, and has rushed for 337 yards and four TDs.

“I just think of it as another game,” McGough said of tomorrow’s showdown. “Coach went over the standings and what we need to do, but every week we just have the 1-0 mentality, and I think if we try to get away from that, it’s a distraction.

“I just think we’ve got to stick to the plan and stick to what got us here in the first place.”

Sternberger leads the receiving corps in point production with five touchdowns, while Davion Davis has amassed 437 yards catching the ball.

C.J. Marable, who has turned into a dual-threat coming out of the backfield, has 437 ground yards (4.6 yards per carry) and 194 receiving yards. His 891 all-purpose yards ranks second on the USFL charts.

Nate Holley and Christian McFarland each have 27 solo tackles to set the standard for Birmingham’s defense.

And although the team has had more than its share of injuries, good fortune has managed to arise from misfortune.

“With injury comes an opportunity,” Holtz said. “I hate injuries, and we do everything we can to try to prevent them, but at the beginning of the season with the number of people that went out, a lot of guys have stepped up and new faces have emerged.

“You look at (receivers) Davion Davis and Deon Cain, and the offensive line with Cohl Cabral and with (Matt) Kaskey and Derwin (Gray) and (Jahmir) Johnson and what some of these guys are doing … I just think there are a lot of positives that have come out of this. A lot of people have played key roles to make us successful to this point.”

Houston is coming off a 20-19 victory over the Pittsburgh Maulers in Canton, another tight game in what has been a highly competitive season across the board.

“This is a good football league,” Johnson said. “They’re outstanding coaches. Just look who all our coaches are. (Almost) all these coaches have NFL experience, that’s why this game is played like the NFL.”

Mark Thompson has the most rushing touchdowns in the USFL with 13, scoring two on Saturday in a victory that saw him net 98 yards on 14 carries. His 514 yards are second only to Wes Hills of New Orleans, who has 613.

QB Kenji Bahar was 11-20-0 passing for 146 yards and a touchdown, and has thrown for 1,326 yards through eight games. His top target is Joe Walker, with 464 receiving yards.

Defensively, the Gamblers allowed 326 yards of total offense and 22 first downs, but held the Maulers to just three of nine third down conversions and allowed only one red zone score out of three opportunities.

Defensive end Isaiah Chambers has 11 tackles for loss – tops in the league.

“I think the players are really excited about the opportunity to play,” Holtz said. “We’re excited to go on the road and travel, but if we can get that magic number seven and get into the playoffs, that’s ultimately what we’re trying to do.”

PLAYER STATUS (via Stallions Twitter)

Free Agent Signing: RB Benny LeMay, DT Keyshon Camp.

Transferred Player to Active Roster: CB Matt Hankins, OT Derwin Gray, DE Jordan Thompson.

Transferred Player to Inactive Roster: RB Benny LeMay, DT Keyshon Camp, CB Bryan Mills, OG Tre’Vour Wallace-Simms.

Suspended list: DE Joe Jackson.

Game status: OL Derwin Gray: Probable (Illness), DE Joe Jackson: Out (Infection). S Christian McFarland: Probable (R Hamstring, R Shoulder, L Thumb), DB JoJo Tillery: Probable (L Knee), RB Ricky Person Jr.: Probable (L Hip), WR Deon Cain: Probable (L Hamstring), RB CJ Marable: Probable (R Torso), LB Quentin Poling: Probable (R Achilles), S Tyree Robinson: Probable (R Thumb/R Wrist), WR Davion Davis: Probable (L Ankle), OL Matt Kaskey: Full Go (R Thumb), DL Jordan Thompson: Full Go (L Hamstring).

PLAYER STATUS (via Gamblers Twitter)

Transferred Player to Active Roster: OC Braylon Jones, DE Reggie Walker, OLB Chris Garrett, DT Josh Avery.

Transferred Player to Inactive Roster: CB Malcolm Washington, DE Guy Thomas, OG Jair Joseph.

Released: DE Eli Howard.Game status: LB Reggie Walker: Questionable (L Ribs), TE Rodell Rahmaan: Probable (R Hamstring), DT Jeffery Johnson: Out (L Hand), OL Jordan Steckler: Questionable (L Hamstring), DB Andrew Soroh: Probable (Head), OL Braylon Jones: Full Go (L Ankle), TE Brandon Barnes: Full Go (L Hand), OL Brandon Hitner: Full Go (L Shoulder), OL Na’Ty Rodgers: Full Go (R Shoulder), LB Ronheen Bingham: Full Go (R Hamstring).

Robots for rent

The annual International Robotics Conglomerate Expo was always a lively one, with CEOS, inventors and designers from across the globe coming together to introduce – and integrate – their latest products into a high-tech society.

Ever since the Robotic Revolution of 2043, this was the new world order. Man designed the machines, and the machines went on to redesign the infrastructure of civilizations.

Planes, trains and automobiles no longer needed pilots, engineers or drivers.

Public transportation could be conveniently summoned anywhere and everywhere with the touch of an app.

House cleaning, street cleaning – all done flawlessly by robots or robotic devices.

Even motion pictures and sports were affected. Movies starred computer generated actors working from screenplays composed by artificial intelligence, while synthetic athletes never had to worry about injuries – only scheduled maintenance.

Everyone lived in a simulation that wasn’t a simulation at all.

But even on a futuristic planet in which the future was now, there was still room for nostalgia.

While robot bands could replicate note-for-note everyone from Robert Johnson to the Captain and Tennille to the Sex Pistols – anything, really, from the historic human music era – there was still some demand for “live” entertainment, especially from wealthy patrons who could afford the luxury.

And it was the human desire to take part in human experiences that convinced Dexter Talmadge to go big and bold when announcing his new product at the IRC Trade Show, held inside the spacious Golden Golem Enterprises Los Angeles Coliseum.

While other exhibits showcased glossy, glitzy humanoids and droids, Talmadge merely stood in front of a white screen that read “404 Initiative” while surrounded by what appeared to be a very random set of men and women.

Each exhibitor had five minutes to make a pitch that was broadcast throughout the coliseum, and when Talmadge’s time came, he quickly cut to the chase.

“Friends,” he said. “You can look around you and see magic made real. Everything you could dream of to ease your life is available for purchase. If you don’t want to cook, cooking will be done to your exact specifications. If you don’t want to spend the weekend cleaning out the garage, there are automatons that can do it in record time – and make it look even better than it did originally.

“The thing is, robots are designed to be perfect. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a companion robot that was less than perfect … that was much more like you?”

Many of the affluent attendees were intrigued. They moved closer to Talmadge and his 404 Initiative products, who came in various ages, sexes, skin colors, shapes, sizes – and imperfections. One appeared to be suffering from amblyopia, while another had protruding ears.

When engaged in conversation, their voices mimicked that of humans – one might speak a Geordie dialect, while another vocalized in a twang common in the American South.

The realism was truly state of the art.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Talmadge said. “Certainly, we can all appreciate the burden robots have removed from our lives. But isn’t there a certain charm to human error? Wouldn’t it be comforting – not every day, but every once in a while – if you ordered a glass of tea but were given a soft drink instead? Doesn’t that make you feel … I don’t know … maybe just a little more human? Our 404 companions will come to your home Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and help cook, run errands … we’ve even designed them so they can ingest food if perhaps you just want have someone to talk to while enjoying lunch. They might make a mistake now and then, but isn’t that part of the fun?”

Talmadge prided himself on being persuasive, and his spiel appeared to be working.

Hundreds of people descended upon him, asking how they could rent 404 companions and what the robots’ full capabilities were. By the end of the first day of the trade show, more than 600 people had signed up for the service.

Once the crowds had cleared out, Talmadge was left with only a blank screen behind him and the handful of 404 escorts he had brought along. One – a smallish woman wearing a dark brown dress – walked up to him and grabbed his right hand.

“Thank you for doing this, Dexter,” she said. “There haven’t been many jobs for us humans since ’43, so this helps more than you’ll ever know. It gives us a sense of worth. And as long as the rich people who hire us don’t know the difference, does it really make any difference at all?

“All we want to do is work.”

Talmadge smiled broadly.

“Well, the first command of the Three Laws of Robotics states that I may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm,” he said. “I’m just trying to lessen the harm that’s already been caused by the revolution.”

The woman nodded and began to walk away.

“Wait,” Talmadge said. “Would you mind going with me to the Figueroa Charging Station? I know robots aren’t supposed to feel anything, but I don’t feel like being alone right now.”