Skip Holtz talks to his team after Thursday’s practice at Legion Field.
Despite devastating injuries at the start of the season and a continuous parade of walking wounded, the Birmingham Stallions have managed to secure the best record in the United States Football League at 8-2.
As of today, they can also claim to have the league’s best coach, too.
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Skip Holtz was named the 2023 Coach of the Year this afternoon, with USFL president of football operations Daryl Johnston making the announcement following Thursday’s practice at Legion Field.
“One thing I’ve always said about the Birmingham Stallions is you’re a tight-knit group,” Johnston said while addressing the players. “Last year you were the first team to come together, had a great start, and nobody could catch you. This year it was the reverse – you had a lot of adversity at the beginning of the season but those tight bonds carried you through that.
“I’m a huge culture and chemistry guy when it comes to teams, and that’s why I’m so excited to introduce you to the USFL Coach of the Year, Skip Holtz.”
Holtz will lead Birmingham against the New Orleans Breakers (7-3) Sunday in the South Division Championship Game at Protective Stadium. Under his guidance, the Stallions finished the 2022 campaign 11-1 and claimed the first championship of the circuit’s modern iteration. His 19-3 record is far and way the best among USFL coaches.
“It’s pretty awesome,” Holtz said. “It’s great to be acknowledged and accolades are great. I’m appreciative, and very grateful to this team. Last year we were trying to put a team together in February and in March we started practice and played in April.
“This year has been a totally new list of challenges where we lost about 30 percent of our team the first couple weeks of the season and having to replace a quarterback and receiver and a lot of guys that were on our leadership council, but it’s a real testament to these players. And as I told them, I’m getting the award, but this is theirs for the job they’ve done. Their buy-in factor is off the charts.”
Holtz logged a 152-121 record as a college head coach, earning Conference USA Coach of the Year honors while at Louisiana Tech in 2016.
He coached teams to two league and six division titles as well as eight bowl victories during his NCAA football career, and now hopes to guide the Stallions to back-to-back professional crowns.
That, he says, is far more important than any coach of the year nods.
“I’m honored, but the one that matters is that award at the end,” Holtz said. “The main goal is that trophy at the end of the year, because that’s the one that everybody will have the opportunity to share.”
Dr. Artemus Ballimore was not a “real” veterinarian – at least not as far as anyone could tell. There were no diplomas on display in his office, he had no pamphlets promoting products or services … in fact, it wasn’t much of an office at all.
Aside from a standard examining table, its décor consisted of a beige antique settee, two gray folding chairs, a well-used olive-green dog bed and an old gumball machine that was filled with purple and pink stones.
Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson and Twitter @adamsonsl
The sign out front read “Ballimore Animal Care,” and it was painted – well, shoe-polished – in stencil. The business was hardly inviting, but it fit right in with the ambiance of the failing, fading strip mall.
And with Bubba’s Bail Bonds, Majestic Massage and Kit’s Cash and Loan occupying three other storefronts – there were four more that were vacant – Ballimore knew when someone showed up at his door, they had exhausted every other option.
Mallory Fallstrom elbowed her way in while cradling Spike in her arms. The black and white mutt was ancient; his face bathed in gray and his eyes, dull and faded.
“You’re the guy that can save him, right?” she said, gently handing Spike over to Ballimore’s waiting arms.
The dog’s breathing was labored, and Ballimore gently laid him on the exam table, which was draped in a red and black flannel blanket.
“I don’t really do anything,” the doctor said. “It’s the animal’s choice … it’s always the animal’s choice.”
The doctor’s work had become something of an internet sensation, with pet owners breathlessly giving their video testimonials about how he was able to extend their animals’ lives by negotiating a “trade” of their own years.
Mallory had seen them all – watching mostly out of curiosity and never putting a penny of stock in the claims. But she had found Spike on the side of the road when he was only a few weeks old, and 12 years later her companion was suffering.
She had taken him to two different vets in the last week, and both said the humane thing was to euthanize him.
She didn’t want to accept that.
So, out of sheer desperation, she drove 60 miles from her home to Ballimore’s office, looking for a miracle.
“I’m here because I don’t know what else to do,” she said. “I’m not gonna lie … I’ve never believed any of those claims I’ve seen online. And this idea that humans can trade in some of their years to add more to their dogs? Make it make sense to me.”
Ballimore walked to the gumball machine, twisted the handle, and snatched a pair of stones – one purple and the other, pink.
He placed them in front of Spike’s snout.
“I can’t explain it,” he said, gently stroking the animal’s head. “And good luck trying to make sense of any of it because I’ve certainly never been able to. I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse, but I’ve been an empath to dogs since I was a little boy.
“I use the stones to form a bridge between the dog’s thoughts and mine, and I tell him that his owner is willing to trade some of their years to give him a few more. It’s entirely up to the dog whether to take the deal … some want to go on, many do not.”
Mallory sighed.
“It all seems a little too New-Agey for me,” she asked. “I mean, how could I even tell if I’d given up any years? Do I give you a number, like, if you can give five more years to Spike do I have to take 10 of mine away? And really, can anyone get into the mind of a dog?
“But I love Spike so much … he’s pulled me through some dark times. I need him, so – I know it’s crazy – but can you heal him?”
Ballimore grimaced.
“No, I can’t heal him. Again … I can’t do anything. All I can do is pass along your wishes and then the dog makes a choice. And whatever the choice is, you have to live with it. I’ve never made any promises.”
Mallory got up and joined Ballimore at the table, where she watched as he twitched his lips while his tightly closed eyelids fluttered. Spike, on the other hand, appeared to be shaking, and the vibrations caused the stones in front of his nose to separate.
Moments later, Ballimore opened his eyes.
Spike’s, however, didn’t close.
“What did you do!” Mallory sobbed. “You killed Spike! Your stupid voodoo killed him!”
Ballimore knew nothing he could say would ease her pain or quell her rage. But he had to tell her the truth.
“I’m sorry, but Spike didn’t want any more years,” he said. “He had so many problems – a few you knew about but a lot you didn’t – and he wanted to go. That big farm that dogs go to live on … well, in a way, that’s kinda what happens, metaphorically at least. His journey here was done. I told you I couldn’t heal him.”
After a few minutes of silence Mallory was finally able to get her emotions in check. Once she did, she sat down on the settee, dropping her face in her hands.
“I’m sorry I blew up at you,” she said. “I knew it was time – those other vets told me – but I was being selfish. And silly. I never believed any of this stuff anyway, but I would’ve done it … I’d have gladly given him some of my years to save him.
“And now I guess I’m supposed to give you some of my money.”
Ballimore shook his head.
“I don’t want your money,” Ballimore said. “And if it brings you some peace – and I truly hope it does – the reason Spike decided to move on was pretty simple. His last thought before he drifted away was that you’d already given him 12 of your best years.
Notes, quotes and numbers from Birmingham’s South Division-clinching 27-20 victory over Memphis at Simmons Liberty Bank Stadium …
HOW THEY SCORED
Memphis (5-5) lit up the scoreboard immediately as Derrick Dillon ran the opening kickoff back 90 yards for a touchdown just 13 seconds in.
Alex Kessman kicked the extra point to make it 7-0.
Birmingham (8-2) followed with a good drive that finally stalled at the Showboats’ seven, but Brandon Aubrey kicked a 25-yard field goal to cut the lead to 7-3 at 10:19 of the first quarter.
The march covered 40 yards in eight plays.
Memphis answered with another touchdown, moving 55 yards on eight snaps and getting the score on a Cole Kelley to Vinny Papale three-yard connection at 5:52 of the first.
The kick made it 14-3.
The Stallions responded with their first paydirt strike of the day, as Alex McGough found Deon Cain on a seven-yard TD play at 14:57 of the second quarter.
Aubrey kicked straight to make it 14-10 and put an added touch to an 11 play, 72-yard trip.
Aubrey added more points 7:08 before halftime, nailing a 45-yard field goal to ensure that a nine play, 40-yard drive ended with a 14-13 scoreline.
The Boats got those three points back at 1:11 when Kessman made a 40-yard field goal to extend his team’s lead to 17-13.
A botched onside kick to start the second half gave the Stallions the ball at the Memphis 29, but a fumble two snaps later negated the error by the hosts.
The Showboats offense returned the favor after being victimized by an interception in the end zone after going 71 yards to the Stallions 12.
Birmingham took its first lead of the day at :33 of the third when C.J. Marable capped off a five play, 54-yard journey with an 18-yard rushing TD.
The PAT was good, and the visitors were on top, 20-17.
At 12:24 of the fourth quarter Kessman made a 45-yard kick, tying the game at 20-all.
The biggest play of the day came with 4:47 remaining when McGough threw a 46-yard touchdown pass to Jace Sternberger to highlight a five play, 70-yard march.
Aubrey kicked the lead to 27-20, and that’s how it ended.
BIRMINGHAM COACH SKIP HOLTZ SAID …
“It came down to making a couple of plays in the fourth quarter, and I was really proud of our team. Certainly not from their execution, but from their resolve and their determination. We had three turnovers in the red zone today, which is very uncharacteristic for us – it’s been one of our strengths. It was uncharacteristic, but I give them a lot of credit. They went and did what they had to do.”
MEMPHIS COACH TODD HALEY SAID …
“I’m so very proud of everybody in that locker room. They made it a joy for me as a head coach. They came to every single meeting, every single practice, every single game … just the joy they took in it. There are some years that are harder than others, but this was not one of those because this group of guys is a really, really unique and special group.”
STANDOUT STATS
McGough continued his MVP-level play, going 22-33-1 passing for 283 yards and two touchdowns.
Davion Davis caught nine balls for 114 yards and Sternberger had 84 yards and a TD on four catches.
“The balls were coming to me, I was finding space getting open, and Alex was just finding me.” Davis said. “Give credit to all the guys on offense doing their job … couldn’t have done it without them.”
C.J. Marable scored a touchdown and ground out 56 yards.
In all, the winners rolled up 404 yards of total offense.
Defensively, Brody Buck was in on nine tackles and Rashad Smith contributed eight.
Nate Brooks had an interception and two pass breakups.
Kelley was 20-30-1 passing for 154 yards and a TD for the Showboats, while Ezra Gray had 83 rushing yards.
Anthony Butler paced the Memphis defense with three solo tackles and a total of eight.
TODAY IN HISTORY
On June 17, 1983, the Birmingham Stallions lost to the Chicago Blitz, 29-14, in front of 22,500 fans at Legion Field.
Chicago running back Tim Spencer rushed for 132 yards on 23 carries to help George Allen’s team improve to 11-5.
Birmingham QB Bobby Lane completed just six of 19 passes for 98 yards and was picked off twice in a loss that dropped the Stallions to 8-8 in their first USFL season.
NEXT UP
The Stallions will face either New Orleans or Houston on Sunday, June 25, in the South Division championship game at Protective Stadium.
Kickoff is set for 6 p.m. CDT with FOX televising.
