The ‘Big Dance’ of sports movies

Bummed about no NCAA Men’s and Women’s Basketball Tournament this year?

Yeah, me too. Pound for pound, March Madness is my favorite sporting event and having it wiped out just seems weird.

But I’m a weird dude, so on this Selection Sunday I decided to create a tournament bracket featuring my 68 favorite sports movies.

Like the NCAA men’s tourney, there are multi-bid leagues and conferences that probably don’t have any teams worthy of the Big Dance. Unlike the NCAA men’s tourney, the Selection Committee is a committee of one and the one is me.

That being the case, my bracket is bound to be much different than yours. For example, after perusing my list you’ll notice “Ford v Ferrari” is not on it. That might seem like an outrage since it was nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

Fact is, I haven’t seen it yet. It probably is great and it might well have earned an at-large bid, but I’m only going by what I’ve already watched and “Ford v Ferrari” will have to wait until I catch it on one of my streaming services.

Sports such as cricket, Australian Rules football, hurling and Gaelic football have been left out, too. It has nothing to do with the sports themselves, it’s just that I’ve yet to see a movie focused on cricket, Australian Rules football, hurling or Gaelic football.

Also, for the purposes of my bracket, I’m excluding documentaries. There’s no particular reason for doing this, but if it makes you feel better you can place them in the NIT (“The Battered Bastards Of Baseball” would be the No. 1 seed).

Anyway, here’s what I’ve got, with qualifiers based on sport (and in random seeding order):

BASEBALL

“A League of Their Own,” “Bull Durham,” “Major League,” “Field of Dreams,” “The Natural,” “The Bad News Bears” (original), “Cobb,” “42,” “Damn Yankees,” “Pride of the Yankees,” “The Rookie,” “Eight Men Out,” “*61.”

BASKETBALL

“Hoosiers,” “White Men Can’t Jump,” “Semi Pro,” “Fastbreak,” “Inside Moves,” “The Winning Season,” “Glory Road,” “Hurricane Season.”

BOXING

“Rocky,” “Raging Bull,” “Million Dollar Baby,” “Somebody Up There Likes Me,” “Cinderella Man,” “The Harder They Fall,” “Creed,” “Chuck.”

FOOTBALL

“North Dallas Forty,” “Friday Night Lights,” “Rudy,” “The Express,” “Brian’s Song,” “The Longest Yard” (original), “Invincible,” “Remember The Titans,” “Big Fan,” “Everybody’s All-American,” “All The Right Moves.”

GOLF

“Tin Cup,” “The Legend of Bagger Vance,” “The Greatest Game Ever Played,” “Happy Gilmore,” “Caddyshack.”

HOCKEY

“Slap Shot,” “Miracle,” “Mystery Alaska,” “The Rocket,” “Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story.”

LACROSSE

“Crooked Arrows,” “Toe To Toe.”

MOTORSPORTS

“The Last American Hero,” “Grand Prix,” “Talladega Nights.”

SOCCER

“A Shot At Glory,” “Damned United,” “Victory,” “Bend It Like Beckham,” “Offside.”

TENNIS

“Battle of the Sexes,” “Borg Vs. McEnroe.”

WRESTLING

“Vision Quest,” “Win Win.”

OTHER

“Invictus” (rugby) “Seabiscuit” (horse racing) “Kingpin” (bowling) and “The Bronze” (gymnastics).

To streamline things, I’ll go ahead and eliminate the play-ins (“Tin Cup,” “The Greatest Game Ever Played,” “Happy Gilmore,” “Talladega Nights”) and go straight to the 64 regional seeds:

REGION A

1. North Dallas Forty
2. *61
3. A Shot At Glory
4. Million Dollar Baby
5. Battle of the Sexes
6. The Bad News Bears
7. Mystery Alaska
8. Invictus
9. Everybody’s All-American
10. Fastbreak
11. 42
12. Grand Prix
13. Semi Pro
14. Crooked Arrows
15. Pride of the Yankees
16. Kingpin

REGION B

1. Slap Shot
2. Major League
3. Inside Moves
4. Damned United
5. Eight Men Out
6. Seabiscuit
7. Rudy
8. The Longest Yard
9. Cobb
10. All The Right Moves
11. Damn Yankees
12. The Rookie
13. Glory Road
14. The Rocket
15. Toe To Toe
16. Offside

REGION C

1. Rocky
2. Field of Dreams
3. Victory
4. Bull Durham
5. Raging Bull
6. Vision Quest
7. Big Fan
8. Cinderella Man
9. Remember The Titans
10. Borg Vs. McEnroe
11. Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story.
12. Creed
13. Somebody Up There Likes Me
14. The Winning Season
15. Friday Night Lights
16. Caddyshack

REGION D

1. Hoosiers
2. A League Of Their Own
3. The Natural
4. The Harder They Fall
5. Miracle
6. Chuck
7. The Last American Hero
8. The Legend of Bagger Vance
9. The Express
10. Bend It Like Beckham
11. White Men Can’t Jump
12. Brian’s Song
13. Invincible
14. Win Win
15. Hurricane Season
16. The Bronze

How did I determine seeding?

Well, I started thinking of my favorite movies and tried to put the best ones in different regions so that they could avoid each other in the early rounds.

And honestly, after about the first 25 films I just randomly seeded them because I started to get tired. At any rate, things get pretty easy from here on in – and mostly anticlimactic.

While a real tournament has surprises (“No. 15 seed The Legend of Bagger Vance stuns No. 2 seed A League Of Their Own in a shocker!”) a Scott tournament plays out exactly how the rankings predict:

SWEET 16

North Dallas Forty
*61
A Shot At Glory
Million Dollar Baby
Slap Shot
Major League
Inside Moves
Damned United
Rocky
Field of Dreams
Victory
Bull Durham
Hoosiers
A League Of Their Own
The Natural
The Harder They Fall

ELITE EIGHT

North Dallas Forty
*61
Slap Shot
Major League
Rocky
Field of Dreams
Hoosiers
A League Of Their Own

FINAL FOUR

North Dallas Forty
Slap Shot
Rocky
Hoosiers

Finally, I had to do some soul searching when figuring out the national champion.

North Dallas Forty is funny and harsh and features Mac Davis in one of the most “real” performances I’ve ever seen.

Slap Shot somehow managed to meld vulgarity and violence into absolute brilliance.

Rocky was, at its core, a love story, but its underdog tale still resonates more than 40 years later.

And Hoosiers managed to transform small town basketball into an ethereal motion picture experience.

If I could spend the rest of my life watching only four sports movies, it would be these four.

But since a tournament can have only one winner, I’ll go with Slap Shot because I absolutely never, ever get tired of it.

Cue “One Shining Moment” and cut down the nets …