I don’t like to brag, but in the world of association football I’m something of a tycoon. You see, I’m part-owner of not one, not two, but three professional soccer clubs.
There’s Celtic FC, members of the Scottish Premiership and my most favored side.
I am the proud owner of one ordinary share of one pence – fully paid – in Celtic PLC (subject to the articles of association of the company, of course). I even get an annual vote on who should serve as board members.
Celtic open against Kilmarnock today to start the 2024-25 season, and I’ll be dressed for the occasion as I cheer on the 54-time Scottish champions.
Manchester United?
Yep … they’re mine. I became fascinated by the Red Devils when I first read about them in a book I found in my grammar school’s library. I’m the holder of one fully paid and non-assessable share of Class A ordinary shares, which is $0.0005 value per share.
I get voting privileges and each year the Premier League club sends me a check for nine cents. It goes directly into savings because I try to be responsible with my money.
And finally, I possess one share of Class S stock in Chattanooga FC, who started in the National Premier Soccer League (NPSL), moved to the National Independent Soccer Association (NISA), and now compete in MLS Next Pro. Saturday night they played Toronto FC II to a 1-1 draw, but picked up an additional point by winning on penalties.
I have a framed certificate, yard sign and T-shirt that says “Chattanooga FC Owner,” so you know it’s legit.
While I’m honored to have a piece of these clubs, my first love – the New York Cosmos – remain in limbo. And I truly wish I had a financial stake in their future.
You remember the Cosmos … the team that won five championships and once featured the likes of Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, Giorgio Chinaglia and Carlos Alberto. They drew more than 77,000 to Giants Stadium during a North American Soccer League playoff game in 1977 (and averaged more than 42,000 spectators per home match that season).
Ah, those were the glory days.
The last competition for a Cosmos-branded team was September 28, 2020 – a 2-1 loss to the Los Angeles Force in the NISA Fall Tournament played at Keyworth Stadium in Hamtramck, Michigan. Attendance was zero since it was contested during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Not long after that defeat, the Cosmos canceled their spring season, went on hiatus, and haven’t been heard from since.
And this makes me sad, especially since I have a closet full of caps, T-shirts and jerseys that make it quite obvious I’m still a supporter.
The first version of the Cosmos folded in 1985, along with the rest of the NASL. The “retirement league” stocked with aging international stars finally fell out of favor with American soccer fans, who moved on to – well, things other than soccer.
But the Cosmos were reborn in 2010 in the modern version of the NASL. It was a second-tier league below Major League Soccer in the pyramid, but aspired to grow into a real competitor. I liked that circuit a lot and hoped it would ultimately reach First Division status and give MLS headaches.
The new NASL wasn’t the same as the old NASL, but I still embraced it – and the Cosmos. They reminded me of my younger days when I first became a fan of the Beautiful Game, and their iconic logo – colorful blades surrounding a ball –remains one of my favorite badges.
Sadly, NASL 2 died in 2017 after losing a lengthy legal battle with the United States Soccer Federation involving PLS (Professional League Standards), so I’d had the Cosmos taken from me for a second time.
But wait!
They kinda/sorta lived on in the fourth tier NPSL as a reserve team (New York Cosmos B) starting in 2015, and in 2019 they lost the “B” and became part of NISA.
And, technically, I guess they still are members of the independent circuit. But since they haven’t taken the field in nearly four years, that hiatus is starting to look more and more like a permanent vacation … a bye-atus, if you will.
And the guy who owns them, Rocco B. Commiso, has pretty much forgotten about them now that he’s owner/chairman of ACF Fiorentina of Serie A.
I certainly understand why he’d put all his energies into “La Viola” … the Italian league has a tad more juice than little ‘ol NISA. But if he isn’t going to do anything with the Cosmos, I wish he’d sell them.
And considering I have a claim in two international clubs and one domestic team, I humbly request that he sell them to me.
If you’re reading this Mr. Commiso, I currently have $147.26 in my checking account, and I can Venmo you $140 by Monday (I’m holding back the other $7.26 because I’m running low on bananas and need to make a quick run to the store).
As a billionaire, you don’t even need my money, which is what makes it such a lovely gesture on my part. And if you no longer care about the Cosmos, put them in the care of someone who does.
No, I don’t have a league to put them in, a place for them to play, or a coaching staff and players. I haven’t had time to research any of that because I didn’t even come up with this column idea until late last night. But what I do offer is a real passion for the club.
I might own some other teams, but this is the one that still owns my heart.
Anyway, I hope you’ll consider my offer. Because when I say “Cosmos Forever,” I really do mean it.