Whenever a new alternative football league comes along, I like to offer the founders unsolicited advice on rule innovations. We all know what to expect in NFL and NCAA games, and as a Canadian Football League fan I’m familiar with its unique style of play as well.
But in order to stand out – especially as an upstart – I think you have to go bold and be very, very different.
The United Football League has some nice tweaks with its tiered conversions and overtime procedure, but I want to color even further outside the lines.
So, I wondered … if I formed a football league (and for the purposes of this column I’ll call it the Global Gridiron Federation because I couldn’t think of anything cool), how would I shake things up?
Well, I’d borrow rules from other circuits and make up a few of my own so crazy they’d be subject to ridicule. But that’s OK, because sometimes I like being ridiculous.
To set the tone for my extreme football makeover, I’d eliminate the punt option once a team reaches its own 40 yard line. In other words, if an offense has fourth-and-11 at its own 41, it has to go for it on fourth down and hope it makes at least 12 yards on the next play or turn the ball over.
Speaking of punts, there would be no fair catches. The CFL rule would be used, meaning returners would be given a five-yard cushion to field the kick.
Sticking with the CFL rulebook again, all backs would be allowed in motion toward the line of scrimmage. This would unleash offenses and create major headaches for defensive coordinators, but it’s my league and I like scoring, so they’d just have to deal with it.
Moving on to kickoffs, I’d duplicate what the UFL did in 2024. The ball is kicked off from the 20 and the return team must have a minimum of eight players (maximum of nine) line up in a box within 10 yards of the ball placement at kickoff until the kick is away. This results in players on the receiving team running in the same direction as those on the coverage team and, thus, increases player safety.
Not extreme enough for you?
Hang on to your chinstraps.
Quarters would be 12 minutes long – the standard length used in high school football. I decided on this rule because as I get older my attention span gets shorter. Throw in a 10-minute halftime, and games should be done in a little over two hours.
Another dramatic change involves the end zones and goalposts. NFL and American college football end zones are 10 yards deep while they’re double that length in the CFL. My league would split the difference, making them 15 yards deep BUT with goalposts located at the back.
Not only that, the goalposts would have a circular target in the middle of the uprights, 17.5 feet above the crossbar. If the target (six feet in diameter) is hit on a field goal, it’s worth four points. If the kicker nails it on the PAT, it’s good for two points.
By the way, the scrimmage line for extra points would be the 10-yard line, which would also be the spot for a three-point conversion (via run or pass). The two-point conversion is taken care of thanks to the goalpost target.
For point value of touchdowns, I travel back to the 1974-75 World Football League in which paydirt strikes were worth seven points. So, if a team has a dead-eye kicker, a touchdown plus a PAT could be worth nine points.
If a game is tied at the end of regulation, overtime would be modeled after the National High School Federation. Teams alternate possessions 10 yards from the goal line until one has more points. (The target between the uprights could play a big role in determining a winner).
But here is my favorite innovation of all, one that gives me a tingly feeling in my nether regions just thinking about it: If a defense recovers a fumble or snags an interception, it’s awarded a single point. Better yet, this rule means a defensive player has a chance to score an eight-point TD on a pick six or scoop and score.
You always hear about turnovers being costly. In the GGF, they’d cost the team that turns the ball over at least a point.
Weird stuff, huh?
Obviously, a couple of these rules aren’t practical. Increasing the length of the field would be a problem (remember the wonky end zones during the CFL in America experiment?) and bringing in a welder to solder a target onto uprights is a big ask.
Still, if I formed an alt-football league, I’d be all-in on the gimmicks. I mean, if you’re gonna go to the trouble of coming up with this nonsense, you might as well let your imagination run wild.
