The bartender

The drinkery at the Ambassador in Washington, D.C., was typical of most motel watering holes. A flat screen TV hung over the bar and the lounge itself – which blended into the lobby – had five tables with a small candle situated in the middle of each one.

There was no one at the bar, so Mallory decided to grab a stool and watch the last couple of innings of the Baltimore-Boston baseball game.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

“What’s your pleasure?” asked the bartender, a 60ish man with tightly curled white hair and a deeply lined face.

“Vodka and orange juice,” Mallory said. “Well brand is fine.”

Mallory’s bar routine back in Asheville, North Carolina, involved getting to Will O’ The Wisp early in the evening, where her drinking buddy Arlie would usually already be there – and be well on the way to getting lubricated.

Mallory would throw back some drinks, make the last call around 11, and spend the walk back to her apartment daydreaming about how much better her boyfriend’s life would be if she wasn’t in it.

Well, this getaway to the nation’s capital was her chance, and it was nearing its conclusion. Amidst all the planning that went into her solo trip, Mallory hadn’t really taken stock of the real reason for the “vacation.”

Yes, she had visited the Entertainment and Sports Arena to watch the Washington Mystics play the Atlanta Dream, but that was all just window dressing, really. In actuality, she was running away from what had become her home and running toward her original home.

At some point later that night, she’d go back to her hotel, send her boyfriend, Mike, a “Dear John” text, and then disappear from his life forever.

It was like entering the Federal Witness Protection Program, only she wasn’t the target of criminals – at least not in the traditional sense.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Mike – she absolutely did. But the situation was untenable, and there was no way she could explain why; he simply wouldn’t believe her.

That was a sobering thought, and Mallory didn’t want to be sober yet.

So, one drink became two and two became six, and as the buzz kicked in, she noticed the bartender seemed to be keeping a close eye on her.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Mallory said. “I’m not driving anywhere. In fact, I’m just a couple of doors down.”

The bartender laughed.

“Good to know,” he said. “I send for a lot of cabs and I needed to make sure you were riding and not driving anywhere. My name’s Carl, by the way.”

Other than ordering drinks, Mallory had stayed quiet most of the night, but as patrons ducked in and ducked out for a quick snort, Mallory decided it might be nice to have someone to talk to.

“Nice to meet you, Carl,” Mallory said. “I’m staying here for a couple of days and got to watch a WNBA game live. I’ve grown to love basketball over the past several years, and it was nice to be at the arena to see it live.”

“Are you here by yourself?” Carl asked.

“I am,” Mallory said. “I’m from North Carolina and I’m kinda running away from home. I, uh … I just need to get away from my boyfriend. It’s for his own good.”

“Trust me … it makes sense – perfect sense,” said Carl, wiping down the counter. “I took a solo road trip myself a couple of years ago. Drove all the way to the West Coast and back, just to see the sights.”

“Cool,” Mallory said. “That had to be a lot of fun.”

Carl managed a weak smile and paused before answering.

“It was more therapeutic than anything,” Carl said. “I had just lost my wife. We had planned a cross country trip together but she died suddenly. Not unexpectedly, but suddenly.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Mallory said. “I’m sure that would’ve meant a lot to her – you know, being able to travel the country with you.”

“Well, we still got to go,” Carl said. “She was cremated, so I took her with me. At every stop we’d talked about – places in Oklahoma, New Mexico, Nevada – I’d scatter some of her ashes. Thing is, she didn’t have to die … if only I’d done what you’re doing, things would’ve been different for her. ”

Mallory ordered one more drink, downed it, and laid down a 100-dollar bill.

“Thanks for your hospitality, Carl,” Mallory said. “And advice. Just keep the change.”

Carl crumpled the bill, stuffed it into his pocket and gently grabbed Mallory’s right shoulder.

“You’re doing the right thing, Mallory, even though it hurts.” he said. “Be safe … and know he’ll be well.”

Mallory nodded, and gave him a knowing wink. She then scurried out of the bar, walked out of the main door of the Ambassador, punched in coordinates on her phone, and eyed the night sky.

If things were different, she would head back to Mike immediately, give him a big, lingering hug, and tell him she loved him more than anything on earth.

And it was true – she did.

But mating with a human was the ultimate taboo on her planet, and she knew if she didn’t leave earth, the bounty hunters from Luyten b would find Mike and kill him.

Sadly, Carl – and his wife – had already been given an object lesson in how cruel interplanetary justice can be.

An invitation from Skip Holtz

OK, let me throw some numbers at you – 62,500, 54,872, 54,413 and 52,942.

Know what they are?

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

The first is the throng that showed up at Legion Field to watch the Birmingham Stallions take on the New Jersey Generals during the 1984 season of the original United States Football League.

The second is fans in the stands at the Birmingham Americans’ home date against the Chicago Fire during the 1974 World Football League campaign. (It’s notable that the game was played in torrential rain).

The third? That was the number of extremely loud and rowdy folks who saw the Ams square off with the Memphis Southmen in ’74.

And the fourth reflects the turnstile clicks for the Birmingham Fire’s 1991 World League of American football debut against the Montreal Machine.

With 72,594 capacity Legion Field no longer the primary gridiron venue in the Magic City, those attendance marks will likely remain the top four in the history of Birmingham-branded professional football teams.

What Stallions coach Skip Holtz would like to see, however, is Protective Stadium enter the chat when it comes to massive Birmingham crowds.

The home stadium of the city’s United Football League team holds 47,100, but during the Stallions’ previous two years in the modern USFL, more than half the building has been empty any time they played.

Considering they won championships during both seasons in their old league – and ticket prices were more than reasonable – that kind of in-house support is underwhelming.

“One of the reasons I love the UFL and love spring football, is I still believe it’s one of the purest brands of football going on right now,” Holtz said. “When you look at these players, they aren’t here just for the money. They’re in it because they love the game. They want to continue their dreams and aspirations. They’re not in it for an NIL. They just want to get on the field and they want to continue their dream of playing this great game.”

I asked Holtz on Wednesday what he’d say to fans who’ve enjoyed spring ball from their living rooms, but haven’t made it to the stadium yet.

“With the merger (between the USFL and XFL), there are eight teams, eight cities in the United States of America, that have the opportunity to support a spring football team,” Holtz said. “There are probably 80 more that would love to have one. And I think we’ve got an opportunity to show how big football is in the state of Alabama, and how much professional football has been wanted in the state of Alabama.

“I think we have an opportunity to show the UFL the standards being set on what it’s going to take to be one of the better markets – and we’ve had one of the better teams.”

The only official attendance USFL officials ever announced came on opening night in 2022 when they reported that 17,500 were on hand at Protective Stadium for the fledgling league’s debut.

The XFL – during the 2020 reboot that was cut short due to the COVID-19 pandemic – averaged roughly 18,000 fans per game, with the St. Louis Battlehawks leading the way with 28,541.

Last season, XFL average attendance dipped to 14,431, but St. Louis again was the standout with 35,104 occupying seats for games at the 67,000-seat The Dome at America’s Center.

Based on early sales, more than 50,000 fans are expected for the Battlehawks’ Week Two home opener against the Arlington Renegades.

“I think Fox was built on building a television (product),” said Holtz, referring to the network’s ownership of the USFL. “We had a lot of teams that weren’t even in their home markets. But I think the big push this year and the big push last year in the XFL (owned by RedBird Capital, Dwayne Johnson and Dany Garcia) was attendance and ticket sales.

“If you love the game of football, I think the product is going to be outstanding. It’s going to be professional football. When I’m going through our roster and knowing we’ve got to make 25 cuts right now, I don’t know where to begin. I mean, I think it’s going to be an awesome product. It’s going to be entertaining.”

I’m fortunate to have been at all those “big ticket” games in Birmingham in 1974, 1984 and 1991. No matter how good the product is on the field – and the latest incarnations of the USFL and XFL gave us a fine product – it seems so much better when people far outnumber empty seats. Sports is about competition, but from a fan standpoint, it’s also about the experience.

Thus, those games were unforgettable.

Birmingham plays its home opener against the Memphis Showboats on April 13, and I’d love to be part of another unforgettable pro football event in my hometown.

That can and will happen if football fans decide to show up and show off.

“I encourage everybody … let’s step up and let’s show this league that Birmingham has got what it takes to be one of these eight teams in the UFL that can be elite when it comes to fan attendance,” Holtz said.