Transformation Night

Jimmy had looked forward to this day for as long as he could remember.

Year after year he had heard stories of others who reached the transformation age, standing under a bright, full October moon and finally morphing into their wilder selves.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

So many myths surrounded lycanthropy, with humans thinking either it was a form of madness or – if they believed it to be real – the result of a horrible curse.

But for those in The Culture, it was simply nature taking its course, no different than experiencing a voice change or seeing hair sprout in tender places.

Most took on a wolf-like appearance and hunted under cover of darkness, joined by their parents and friends. And just as wolves rarely attack people, neither did members of the The Culture – although deer were fair game and raccoons occasionally found themselves on the wrong side of sharp teeth.

There was also an unfortunate incident several years earlier involving the Star Trek cosplayer dressed as a Tribble, but that was rarely talked about except during Star Trek conventions and the Strange But True Animal Attacks podcast.

Following the first kill, the newly transformed would usually wake up in tattered, bloody clothes, with only a spotty memory of what happened the night before. Over time, though, they’d learn to retrace their every move and gain complete control of the beast within. As adults, they would become valued and trusted leaders of the pack.

On this particular night, only Jimmy’s parents – Leonard and Mavis – were around to oversee his ceremony.

They had kept their nocturnal activities out of their son’s sight. It was standard practice; a rule of thumb was to “never show what they will become until it’s time to become the thing never shown.”

“I don’t see anybody else,” Jimmy said as he walked with them toward the clearing where the ritual would take place. “From what I hear at school, the newly transformed in The Culture make it a big party. And everybody wears robes.”

Leonard and Mavis had no robes. They were dressed in their usual garb – blue track suits, reflective running shoes and fluorescent yellow headbands.

“No, honey,” Mavis replied. “It’s just us. It’ll make more sense to you later. Just stand in the circle we drew there and we’ll go ahead and get started.”

Leonard stepped forward, produced a piece of paper from his left pocket, and began to read the sacred words:

By the light of the moon, and the power of the night

It’s the eye of the Tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight

A Survivor lyric might seem out of place

Buy you’ll forget all about it once fur’s on your face

Enjoy the journey, it’s about to begin

Oh, Didelphimorphia, take over this skin!

With that, Jimmy felt a strange sensation, as though his head was becoming elongated and his ears were growing larger. Although his eyes began to blur, he noticed gray fur popping up on his arms and felt his teeth rearranging in his mouth.

And then, he passed out.

Hours later, the morning sun pierced the window in Jimmy’s room, and the young man groaned as he rolled out of bed. His clothes were mostly intact, although he appeared to have dog food splattered on his shirt and he smelled of week-old garbage.

He remembered little of the night before, although he did seem to have a slight recollection of hissing at a cat.

He rose to his feet and prepared to head downstairs when he heard a perfunctory knock signaling the entrance of his parents.

“Mom, dad … what happened last night?” he wanted to know.

“Sit down, son,” Leonard said. “It’s time we told you everything.”

Jimmy plopped down on the edge of the bed while his dad took a knee.

“Jimmy,” Leonard said. “I know how much transforming means to you. And I know you thought this was all part of becoming part of The Culture … those who claim to be well-bred. But that’s just not who we are. And that’s never who we’re going to be.”

“Son, we’re Possum Folk.”

Jimmy had heard of some kids turning into dogs – even coyotes – but manifesting as a marsupial was rarely even whispered about.

“I thought on transformation night we all go on this great hunt,” Jimmy said. “Is that not what happened?”

Mavis walked over and sat on the bed next to her child.

“Well, I guess it depends on how you define ‘hunt,’” she said. “Your father and I knocked over a garbage can and found some Chinese food. You ended up wandering over to the Jemison’s porch and eating some of their dog Ringo’s food. We ate, and then we came home. Really, things went pretty well, all things considered.”

Jimmy had imagined running wild in the forest, wind slicing through his fur and eyes glowing as he moved in for a kill – apex predator-style.

Instead, when the full moon rose and he transformed, he’d most likely hit a top speed of four miles per hour, and only then because he got spooked by a motion-activated sprinkler.

Jimmy shook his head and sighed.

“This is such a huge letdown,” he said.

“It shouldn’t be,” Leonard stressed. “The important thing is that you wake up every day being the best Jimmy you can be and – when it’s transformation night – just be the best werepossum you can be and never be ashamed of who you are.

“Do that, and your mom and I will always be proud of you. We only ask one thing.”

Jimmy looked at them, fighting back tears.

“What’s that?” he asked.

Mavis smiled. “Stay out of the road,” she said. “It can be really dangerous … especially after dark.”

Gambling on Gabriel

Minor league football, circa 1973, was neither glamorous nor lucrative.

But the addition of NFL star Roman Gabriel to its ranks would’ve certainly been flashy – especially framed by the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas. And the promise of a $100,000 payday was the key to luring the 32-year-old Gabriel to the desert and making him the face of its lower division team.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

The Las Vegas Casinos, members of the Southwestern Football League, tried to put themselves (and the SFL) on the map in April, 1973, by bringing in Gabriel. And based on news reports at the time, it appeared that such a move was actually possible.

Gabriel was going through a messy divorce from the Rams, asking to be traded after new L.A. coach Chuck Knox signed John Hadl away from the San Diego Chargers and tapped him as the franchise’s presumptive starting QB.

Gabriel was coming off an injury-plagued 1972 campaign that saw him suffer from a collapsed lung and tendinitis in his throwing elbow. Although he played in all 14 regular season games, he managed just 12 touchdowns against 15 interceptions.

But while Gabriel was uncertain about his NFL future, his agent – Ed Masry – said his client had an opportunity to get an early start on the 1973 football season. The Casinos would begin their campaign in June and were supposedly ready to write Gabriel a check for six figures, plus a percentage of gate receipts. According to Masry, an agreement in principle to play with Las Vegas had been made on April 12.

The Southwestern League was formed in February, 1972, and its primary gimmicks were field goals from 35 to 50 yards counting four points and those from 51 or more worth five. The SFL featured the Casinos, Phoenix Blazers, Southern California Razorbacks, New Mexico Thunderbirds, Denver Oilers, Dallas Rockets, San Antonio Toros, Oklahoma City Wranglers and Kansas City Steers.

The plan was for Gabriel to play eight games for Las Vegas during the summer and then he could resume his career with an NFL team during its exhibition slate.

But … there was a pretty big problem.

Since Gabriel was still on the payroll of the Rams, he had to follow NFL rules.

“No player under contract to a club in the NFL shall be permitted to participate in any football game for or against any team, group or organization outside the league except in games officially approved and sanctioned by the NFL,” reads an excerpt from the NFL constitution.

League officials also warned him that jumping to the SFL could possibly result in a permanent ban from the NFL.

At a news conference at Masry’s office, Gabriel didn’t address the minor league rumors, but claimed his contract with L.A. was null and void since the franchise was under new ownership.

“I don’t get along with the present Rams management,” he told Associated Press for an April 14 story. “I have reason to distrust them, so it makes it difficult to play for them. I’m a little upset and offended about it being said that I am afraid to compete against John Hadl. In the past 11 years I have competed against a minimum of 14 quarterbacks in order to maintain my position as a starter.

“Under no circumstances would I ever leave a team because of competition. I thrive on it; I don’t fear it.”

Of course – spoiler alert – Gabriel didn’t play for the Casinos, and who knows if he ever had any real intention to do so. It was just a public way of letting the Rams know his time in southern California was over and they needed to make a deal.

It was a bummer for me, because the Rams were my favorite team in the NFL (prior to its merger with the American Football League), and Gabriel was a major reason why.

On April 18, Masry and Casinos legal counsel Eddie LeBaron (a former NFL quarterback himself and four-time Pro Bowler) released a joint statement saying Gabriel would not suit up for Las Vegas.

“Mr. Gabriel has commenced initial steps toward legal resolution of his purported contract with the Los Angeles Rams. It does not appear possible to revolve the legal questions in time for the Las Vegas Casinos to arrange a summer schedule that would permit Mr. Gabriel to play for a National Football League club in the fall. Therefore, negotiation for his services have been terminated by mutual agreement,” the statement read.

The story had a happy ending – at least for Gabriel.

In June he was traded to the Philadelphia Eagles for Harold JacksonTony Baker, a 1974 first-round selection and first and third-round picks in 1975.

He went on to win NFL Comeback Player of the Year honors in 1973, throwing for league highs of 3,219 yards and 23 touchdowns (although the Eagles finished 5-8-1 and third in the NFC East).

He spent the last five years of his 16-year NFL career in Philly, and why he isn’t in the Pro Football Hall of Fame remains a mystery to me.

As for the Casinos, they suffered the same fate as most minor league/semi-pro teams, spending the rest of their brief existence in obscurity.

They did manage to make the 1973 SFL playoffs without Gabriel, although they were blown out by the Toros in the semifinals, 45-3. Vegas was without starting quarterback Mark Bordeaux – who missed the game because he was attending a wedding.

The Casinos’ last bit of notoriety came in 1974 when, playing in the Pacific Professional Football League, they defeated the Albuquerque Thunderbirds, 100-0, on June 29. The game saw the winners tally 15 touchdowns and was shortened to 50 minutes because it was such a mismatch.  The team folded in August, turning the lights out on the three-year old team repping the City of Lights.

Interview With Count Dracula

Tall, thin and nattily dressed in a deep purple sport coat and slacks, Count Dracula waved at the man from his small table in the back of the restaurant.

Robert Belmont had been running the Vampirical Evidence website ever since he dropped out of junior college, and after nearly 10 years of chasing leads – and shadows – he had finally scored an interview for the ages.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Threads @sladamson1960 and Adamsonmedia on Facebook.

As Belmont reached the table, Dracula extended his hand and smiled broadly – revealing a pearly white (if fangless) set of teeth.

“So nice to meet you, Mr. Belmont,” he said. “I hope this restaurant suits you.”

It did, indeed.

While a damp, dark castle might’ve been a more traditional setting, those were hard to come by in Hays, Kansas. Plus, meeting a vampire in a public place was much safer for the interviewer.

“This is great, Count,” he said. “It’s such an honor to finally meet you.”

Belmont had spent countless hours studying vampire mythology, and had so many questions he worried that he wouldn’t have time to get even half of them answered.

“I hope you don’t mind if I jump right in,” he said, plopping a digital voice recorder and spiral notebook down on the table. “I’m gonna record the conversation, if that’s not a problem. Or maybe should I ask, is your voice even recordable? I’m hoping you can help explain which myths have an element of truth and which ones are false.”

Dracula drank deeply from his wine glass and leaned back in his chair.

“I’m afraid you might be disappointed when you find out how many myths are just that,” he said. “That said, I’m hoping I can clear some things up for you and your audience. Oh, and yes … my voice records just fine.”

Belmont turned on the device and started his questioning.

“OK,” he said. “First off, how many years have you been in your castle in Transylvania?”

Dracula gave Belmont a puzzled look.

“Uh, I’m from New Castle, Pennsylvania,” he said. “I grew up in a midcentury modern home there. I’ve never been to Transylvania … I couldn’t even find it on a map.”

Belmont was dumfounded.

“But your name is Count Dracula … I’ve confirmed it through some of my sources on Facebook.”

Dracula nodded.

“Ah, yes, Facebook. Isn’t there a group on there that has proof that four plus four equals five?” Dracula said, using air quotes to emphasize the word proof. “You can’t believe everything you read, Mr. Belmont.”

The interviewer began hastily thumbing through his notebook.

“So, are you denying that you’re Count Dracula?” he asked.

“Not at all,” Dracula answered. “My family name is Dracula. My first name is Count … my parents were rather eccentric and huge fans of Count Basie, which is how I got my name.”

Belmont reached into his pocket and pulled out his smartphone. On it were several photos and drawings of Dracula from various time periods, all bearing a striking resemblance to the Dracula sitting in front of him.

“Come on, Mr. Belmont, “ Dracula said. “Really? I don’t recognize any of those photos, which means I’m quite certain they’re photoshopped. As for the drawings, anyone could’ve done those. Nothing there proves I’m a vampire.”

Belmont sighed.

“You’re not a vampire, then?” he asked, earnestly.

Dracula’s eyes widened.

“Oh yes, I’m a Vampire,” he said. “The Vampire family hails from Romania. I did dome research on a genealogy website and learned that Augustus Vampire emigrated from there back in the 1600s. Eventually – because of the myths – they changed the name to Vampoor and settled in Malta.

“What you thought you knew, you don’t. Am I undead? Well, yes … if you’re alive, you’re undead. Do Vampires drink blood? The Vampoors drank a lot of blood orange juice because they had a citrus orchard. I’m sure you’ve had fun with your Vampirical Evidence website, but I’m your evidence – and I don’t think it was what you hoped to find.”

Belmont closed the notebook, slid his phone and recorder into his pants pocket and stood up from the table.

“Well,” he said. “I appreciate your time, anyway. I doubt my site is gonna generate much traffic after I run this story.

“Thanks again.”

Dracula watched Belmont leave the restaurant and followed him out moments later, getting into a car that had just pulled up.

“Well?” asked the driver.

“Good news and bad news,” Dracula said. “I’m pretty sure I fooled him … I masked my scent with cologne and he seemed genuinely dejected when he left. But there’s a full moon coming in three days, and we need to be vigilant.

“Belmont might not think I’m a vampire, but I know for a fact he’s a werewolf – I could smell that bastard the minute I saw him.”