Crunch time

This time last year, the USFL might as well have been an acronym for Undefeated Stallions Football League.   

Birmingham, at 5-0, already had a two-game lead in the South Division. In fact, its only loss was a Week Nine hiccup against the Houston Gamblers, a low-stakes game against a last place team that was quickly forgotten as Skip Holtz’s club went on to win the crown.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson, Post @scottscribe, Mastodon @SLA1960 and Twitter @adamsonsl

Today’s contest between the Stallions and Gamblers at Protective Stadium was different. It had a playoff feel even though five weeks still remain in the regular season.

With New Orleans sitting atop the South as the league’s lone unbeaten team (the Breakers play the Memphis Showboats here on Sunday), the showdown was a battle for position.

Birmingham started the day at 3-1, and a win would translate into a two-game cushion over Houston and firm control of second place in the division.

A Gamblers “W” meant they would be tied with the Stallions at 3-2, and hold a tiebreaker advantage for second place (with a rematch set for June 11 in Memphis).

By the time a scorching afternoon had given way to a muggy early evening, the result was a best-case scenario for Houston.

A 27-20 victory didn’t wrap up a postseason berth for Curtis Johnson’s team, of course, but it was a positive step in the right direction.

“We knew that this was more of a must-win for us than it probably was for them,” Johnson said. “They’re the champions, and they played like it.”

Both teams were missing some key components in what was – to date – the biggest game of 2023 for each. I know, I know … injuries aren’t an excuse, but they are a reality.

The biggest loss for Houston was starting quarterback Kenji Bahar, who missed the game due to an ankle injury and took 835 yards and seven passing touchdowns with him.

The home team has dealt with a litany of wounds and ailments week in and week out. Scooby Wright – the emotional leader of the defense – wasn’t in the lineup today, nor was all-purpose yards leader Deon Cain, who has already been worth two touchdowns on special teams.

“Some of our injuries were supposed to be two to four weeks, and here we are at five,” Holtz said. “I’m hopeful we’ll get a couple back … I’m hoping (safety) Jojo Tillery and (defensive end) Joe Jackson will be back. Unfortunately, four or five of the guys have pretty close to season-ending injuries.”

The expression “next man up” should probably be amended to “next men up.”

Yet, it’s all part of the game, and the name of the game is to win.

So, coaches and players have to figure out a way.

The Gamblers did that today, with a national TV audience and a few thousand fans in the stands looking on.

Terry Wilson stepped in admirably in place of Bahar, assisting Mark Thompson in a ground game that racked up 138 yards but showing he could throw when needed, registering a tidy 117 aerial yards with nearly half coming on a 50-yard pass to Anthony Ratliff-Williams.

“It really starts with the coaches,” Wilson said. “They believed in me and gave me the opportunity to go out there. It started with a phenomenal week of practice. We knew it would be hot when we got down here but we wanted to be ready for anything, and we knew we’d play hard and it was going to be a battle. I thought we brought it, and got the ‘W’.”

Stallions QB Alex McGough, however, took another step toward ironman status with a gutsy performance that netted 209 passing yards, 71 rushing yards and two touchdowns.

“That quarterback is something special,” Johnson said. “I come from the NFL, and I’d take him right now. He’s outstanding.”

Tomorrow, Houston can look at this game as a signature win, their third in a row and a result that makes them the hottest team in the USFL not named the Breakers.

Birmingham will bemoan being hit with 10 penalties for 106 yards while the Gamblers never saw a yellow flag over 60 minutes.

“That’s part of the frustration,” Holtz said. “The penalties were 10 to nothing. It was hard. We couldn’t get anything going and it seems like anytime we did, we’d get a penalty.”

Come Monday, however, it’ll be back to business for both.

And every game going forward will seem like a playoff for two teams with the same record and the same goal.

“I’m proud of our team,” Holtz said. “I’m proud of the way they continue to compete. Proud of the way they fought back, and they never give up.”

Gamblers win third straight

Notes and quotes from the Houston Gamblers’ 27-20 victory over the Birmingham Stallions on Saturday at Protective Stadium …

HOW THEY SCORED

Houston (3-2) drew first blood at 1:06 of the first quarter, with Mark Thompson capping off a 10 play, 65-yard drive with a three-yard dash around right end.

UAB product Nick Vogel kicked the PAT, making it 7-0.

Birmingham (3-2) answered back on the next drive, thanks to a 47-yard field goal courtesy of Brandon Aubrey. The hosts went 43 plays on eight snaps before calling on their kicker to put three on the board.

The Stallions took the lead with 16 seconds remaining in the first half after traveling 91 yards on 11 plays. A 25-yard pass from Alex McGough to Jace Sternberger and a 15-yard McGough scramble helped set up the go-ahead score.

The clincher came when McGough connected with C.J. Marable on a one-yard TD pass.

Aubrey added the extra point, and the teams headed to the locker room with Birmingham on top, 10-7.

The Stallions lost the ball via fumble on the opening kickoff of the second half, giving the Gamblers a chance to tie or go ahead after taking possession. But Birmingham made a stop on a fourth-and-one call at its 12, ending the threat.

The home team’s offense thanked the defense with three more points, as Aubrey nailed a 49-yard field goal at 2:49 of the first.

The march covered 56 yards on 12 plays and extended the advantage to 13-7.

Back came Houston.

QB Terry Wilson hooked up with Anthony Ratliff-Williams on a 50-yard pitch and catch for a score, highlighting a six play, 71-yard drive at 14:52 of the fourth.

Vogel kicked the Gamblers to a 14-13 lead.

Birmingham had an opportunity to regain the edge on the next series, but Aubrey missed a 51-yard field goal at the 10:13 juncture.

Houston responded with its second touchdown drive of the game as Thompson hit paydirt on a two-yard scoot with just 3:21 showing on the fourth quarter clock.

The try for two failed, but an 11 play, 39-yard trek – aided by a pair of penalties – was good for a 20-13 lead.

The Stallions needed points quickly but found themselves facing a fourth-and-14 dilemma at their own 16. What looked to be a completed pass for a first down was overturned on replay, and that all but killed any comeback hopes.

Houston added insurance following the turnover on downs, with Thompson scoring from eight yards out at 1:42.

The kick was good, and the Gamblers were in charge, 27-13.

Birmingham added a consolation score on a McGough to La’Michael Pettway touchdown pass with 10 seconds remaining, cutting the deficit to 27-20 and providing a sliver of hope.

However, the Stallions attempted the fourth-and-12 onside play from their 33 but the ball was picked off, and that sealed the deal.

BIRMINGHAM COACH SKIP HOLTZ SAID …

“Overall, a frustrating day … a very frustrating day. I give Houston and Coach Johnson an awful lot of credit. They did the things they had to do to win the football game. We certainly had opportunities today if we could’ve capitalized on them.”

HOUSTON COACH CURTIS JOHNSON SAID …

“This team doesn’t quit. We’re not accustomed to going on the road and winning games, but this is two weeks in a row we’ve done that and we’re traveling well. The offense, defense, special teams … they practice awfully hard.”

STANDOUT STATS

Wilson was 9-14-0 for 117 yards and a passing TD, and added 42 more yards rushing for the winners.

Thompson ground out 80 yards on 16 carries and scored three times.

“We beat them toward the end of last year, so when we came into the game, we knew they weren’t untouchable … they weren’t invincible,” Thompson said. “We came out and played our brand football and did what we were supposed to do.”

McGough paced the Stallions with 71 rushing yards as well as a 24-38-1 passing line for 209 yards and two touchdowns. He had a hand in all but 36 of the Stallions’ total offensive yards even though he was knocked around quite a bit.

Rib pain was an issue when he decided to tuck and run.

“It’s not like a serious thing,” McGough said. “It’s just when I started to run, the deep breaths would hurt (my ribs). I can sit here and talk and it’s fine, it’s just when I have to fully breathe. But they’re all right.”

Free safety Christian McFarland and linebacker Elijah Sullivan were in on eight tackles each for Birmingham.

FUMBLE RULE

One of the USFL rule changes for 2023 concerns fumbles into the end zone. It states … “A ball fumbled forward from the field of play into the end zone and out of bounds will be returned to the spot of the fumble and the fumbling team retains possession.”

That tweak came in quite handy for the Gamblers. Thompson made a 17-yard run late in the first quarter but was popped hard, sending the ball rocketing forward into the end zone and out of bounds. Instead of Stallions ball, though, it went back to the offense.

Three plays later, Thompson carried the ball into the end zone, accounting for the first points of the day.

“I didn’t like that rule today,” Holtz joked. “I know it was just passed this year, and it was an example of the kind of year it’s been for us with the injuries and everything else. Like I said, some days you’re the windshield and some days you’re the bug.”

TODAY IN HISTORY

On this date in 1984 the Houston Gamblers routed the Pittsburgh Maulers, 47-26, behind Jim Kelly’s five touchdown passes.

Kelly finished the game 15-29-0 for 367 yards and tied the USFL record for most touchdown passes in a single game (that record, incidentally, had been set the night before by Memphis Showboats QB Walter Lewis).

NEXT UP

The modern Stallions play their first game somewhere other than Birmingham or Canton next Saturday when they travel to Detroit to face the Michigan Panthers, 23-7 losers to Pittsburgh today.

Game time is set for 3 p.m. CDT with FOX televising.

Pickleball, anyone?

When I was a kid, I used to suit up in full football gear, head to the backyard and pretend I played both quarterback and wide receiver for the New York Jets.

I can’t tell you how many touchdown passes I threw to Don Maynard and George Sauer, or how many I caught from Joe Namath. OK, I can tell you … it was a lot.

Scott Adamson writes stuff. Follow him on Spoutable @ScottAdamson, Post @scottscribe, Mastodon @SLA1960 and Twitter @adamsonsl

Invariably, the Jets season would end with a perfect record and Super Bowl victory over whatever scum and villainy the NFL (and later, NFC) threw at me. I would help win the game by firing a thread-the-needle TD toss to Don or George as time expired. Or, I’d clinch the title by snatching a Joe Willie aerial with one hand, pulling the ball to my chest while deftly dragging both feet in the end zone for six points.

I never thought I’d get that kind of feeling about sports again, but thanks to pickleball – yes, pickleball – I have.

Before drifting off to slumber last Tuesday night (the first day I ever picked up a paddle and ball and joined the Pickleverse) I allowed myself a little trip to the land of make-believe.

There I was in the Mandalay Bay arena in Las Vegas, sauntering toward the court to the urgent beat of My Sharona while adorned in a magenta T-shirt, bedazzled jorts and neon green running shoes. Across the way was Yuri Sonovabich, built in a lab by evil Kremlin scientists and heavily favored to make quick work of his short, bespectacled foe.

But a can-do spirit – and wicked topspin – propelled me to a stunning victory, one so shocking it forced Vladimir Putin to resign in disgrace and move into Steven Seagal’s basement.

That conquest led to my qualification for Gentlemen’s Singles at WimblePickle, and convinced Major League Pickleball’s Birmingham Dinks to place the franchise tag on me.

Those competitive fires I thought were gone forever had returned, and I was glad to have them back.

Before pickleball, the last sport I participated in was golf. I was never good at it, so it was never much fun for me. Plus, I knew going in I was going to lose, regardless of who I was playing. Worse than losing is that it takes about four and a half hours to complete a round.

If I’m gonna devote four and a half hours to something, it better involve whiskey, a live band and the potential for nudity.

However, in my teens, twenties and thirties I played tennis, and I truly enjoyed it. I was never great by any stretch of the imagination but I wasn’t bad, so on occasion I’d beat people I wasn’t supposed to beat and felt like I at least had a puncher’s chance every time I was on the court.

My biggest problem was serving; I just didn’t have a lot of power or control.

Enter pickleball.

My niece Tina and I hope to become a formidable doubles team.

My niece Tina has been playing for a while and invited me out to give it a try. I’d never been all that curious about it before, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to take it for a test drive.

I loved it immediately. I mean, I was on eBay buying balls that night.

My muscle memory from tennis came in handy because while the rules are different, they’re familiar. And the fact that you serve underhanded is glorious. The weakest part of my tennis game isn’t part of the pickleball game at all, so after a few swats I felt like I knew what I was doing.

Tina and I played a couple in doubles and lost, 14-12 (games are to 11 but you have to win by two). Even so, it was great fun.

Sure, I could’ve ripped up the net, slammed down my paddle and tried to perform a suplex on them, but that just seemed extreme.

Also, I have a bad back.

And despite my late night pickleball fantasies, I’ve reached the age (and temperament) where fun is more important than racking up the “W.” If I encounter anyone who takes it too seriously, I shall mock and shun them.

I love competition and obviously when you play you want to win, but there’s no need to be a wanker if you lose.

So yeah, going forward, whether Tina and I are working together as doubles partners or I’m taking on someone in singles, I’ll be playing hard but playing loose, because pickleball should be a hoot, not a hassle.

Unless, of course, I wind up facing Yuri Sonovabich at Mandalay Bay.

I hate that guy.