Month: December 2017

The American League of Canadian Football

(This column was originally published on Dec. 13, 2017).

Back when I worked for a living, I used to talk about the Canadian Football League so much that it became a bit of a joke among my fellow sports writers.

Out of Left Field is written by Scott Adamson. It appears weekly and sometimes more frequently if he gets up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

Since the colleges in my primary orbit were Clemson, South Carolina and Georgia, I could always be counted on to stay on top of which Tigers, Gamecocks and Bulldogs were in the CFL.

And as a UAB graduate, I keep a close on any Blazers who might find their way onto rosters as “internationals.”

Thing is, the CFL is not a novelty for me. I legitimately love it.

You might remember the league tried its “American experiment” a couple of decades ago in which franchises were placed in the United States. Personally, I thought the plan was terrific and had high hopes it would last.

Of course, it didn’t.

The CFL is not just a league of unique rules, it’s also very Canadian culturally, and the feng shui of tackle football dictates that the CFL have teams in Canadian cities only.

I get that, and respect it.

But since I now have a lot of free time on my hands, I’ve used an inordinate amount of it thinking about professional sports leagues that I would like to form.

One is the Global Football League, which I’ll address in a future column.

But the one nearest and dearest to my heart is the one I’ll write about today – the American League of Canadian Football.

Yep, the ALCF would bring the Canadian pro game to the Lower 48, giving Americans their own version of the CFL.

That means the ALCF would adopt most of the rules used by the CFL, such as:

  • A playing field 110 yards long and 65 yards wide.
  • Goal posts situated on the goal line.
  • Three downs to make 10 yards and a first down.
  • Twelve players to a side (extra slotback on offense, extra secondary player on defense).
  • All backs allowed in motion toward the line of scrimmage.
  • No fair catches on punt returns.
  • Fumbled balls that go out of bounds belong to the last team to touch the ball.
  • Kicking teams awarded a single point for missed field goals or punts that are downed in the end zone by the receiving team.
  • Players who line up behind the kicker on a punt or field goal try may recover an “onside” kick.

Now remember I said the ALCF would adopt most rules of the CFL. One change would be the depth of end zones, which span 20 yards in the CFL. This was a problem that plagued the American experiment since many stadiums were not built to accommodate such lengthy playing fields.

So, while 20-yard deep end zones are desirable, teams will have to improvise and just make them as deep as possible (just think about the varied sizes of outfields in baseball and it makes better sense).

OK, now that we’ve got the rules set, we have to select cities.

This is the tough part.

When most leagues are formed, the first order of business is to get teams in major media markets for the purposes of advertising and TV revenue. Problem is, it’ll be impossible for the ALCF to compete with cities that field NFL teams.

So we won’t.

Instead, the 10-team ALCF will place its flagship franchises in Birmingham, Memphis, Norfolk, Orlando, Portland, Rochester, Sacramento, San Antonio, Tulsa and Wichita.

I’ve even gone to the trouble of giving the teams nicknames for you: Birmingham Battalion, Memphis Blues, Norfolk Mariners, Orlando Coasters, Portland Brews, Rochester Boom, Sacramento Rivermen, San Antonio Sol, Tulsa Oilers and Wichita Flight.

Following the CFL model, each team would play two exhibition games before embarking on an 18-game regular season that begins in June of each year. And, like their Canadian counterparts, the average salary for an ALCF player would be roughly $80,000 per season.

Am I the only person who has dreamed of such a league?

Maybe not.

I’m a member of a great Facebook group, “CFL Fans In SEC Country,” which features hardcore, knowledgeable fans – some who even venture to the Grey Cup every year.

But are there enough of them to put down seed money for the ALCF and make me commissioner?

That’s another story.

If they can pull it off, though, we’ll all have a helluva party when the Battalion hosts the Blues in the 2020 season opener.

Toronto alone at the top of MLS

By Scott Adamson
Adamsonmedia.com

Toronto FC capped off the greatest season in Major League Soccer history on Saturday with a 2-0 victory over Seattle Sounders FC in the MLS Cup.

The clash – a rematch of last year’s final won by the Sounders – served as the 2017 curtain call for North American professional club soccer.

Toronto (20-5-9) controlled the match from start to finish, dominating possession and keeping Seattle back peddling from wire-to-wire before 30,584 fans at BMO Field in Toronto.

Goalkeeper Stefan Frei was the only reason 2016’s champions stayed close as he made save after save before Most Valuable Player Jozy Altidore split a pair of defenders and punched in the game-winner in the 67th minute. Victor Vazquez closed the door in stoppage time with a rebound goal that made it 2-0, delivering Toronto the first treble in 22 seasons of MLS soccer.

Aside from claiming the Supporters’ Shield while racking up the most regular season points (69) an MLS team has ever recorded, Greg Vanney’s squad also won the Canadian Championship.

Alexander Bono got the clean sheet for the victors, making two saves. Toronto outshot Seattle, 22-7, and had 11 corner kicks to just three for the visitors.

Frei did all he could for the Sounders (14-9-11), making nine stops.

Toronto’s goals were the only ones scored against Seattle during the 2017 postseason.

 

STATE OF THE LEAGUE

The 2017 MLS Cup proved to be a fine season finale for the circuit that began play in 1996.

After suffering from severe growing pains (it lost an estimated $350 million over its first eight seasons and also underwent contraction) the top tier of soccer in the United States and Canada has since demonstrated stability and sustained growth. In addition, its commitment to soccer-specific stadiums across the league suggests a league that will be part of American sport’s long game.

Currently with 23 franchises and targeting 28 teams in the coming years, MLS might still not be mentioned alongside the NFL, Major League baseball, NBA and NHL, but it has unquestionably carved out a sizable niche.

 

ATTENDANCE

The 2017 regular season saw a league average of 22,112 fans per game (up nearly 2 percent from 2016), and expansion club Atlanta United FC was far and away the most successful at the box office with an incredible 71,874 fans-per-game average.

Seattle drew 44,370 per match while DC United saw 41,418 supporters show up for their home contests.

 

EXPANSION

Next Thursday the MLS board of governors will discuss expansion, and the cities under consideration are Cincinnati, Detroit, Nashville and Sacramento.

Those four were culled from 12 cities that submitted bids back in January and two will be selected to begin play in 2020 – probably.

Los Angeles FC will start next season and a Miami entry associated with David Beckham was expected to be the 24th active MLS franchise.

However, nothing has yet been finalized with Beckham’s ownership group, meaning one of the two expansion hopefuls could “cut in line.”

 

ALLOCATION MONEY

The board on Friday approved an increase in Targeted Allocation Money (TAM) available to each club.

While each team will receive an allotment of $1.2 million each year through 2019, they may also spend an additional $2.8 million (on a discretionary basis) in 2018 and 2019.

The TAM initiative began in 2015 with the idea of giving franchises “increased resources to add, or retain, players that will make an immediate impact on the field.”

The TAM is geared toward roster spots beyond the three Designated Players on each team. According to MLS Communications, The Designated Player Rule “allows clubs to acquire up to three players whose total compensation and acquisition costs exceed the maximum budget charge, with the club bearing financial responsibility for the amount of compensation above each player’s budget charge.”

How smart are dogs and cats? I’ve done my own research

Science, the practice that has helped the smarter ones among us accept that the earth is round and a tomato is a fruit, is at it again.

Brain Farce is an alleged humor column written by Scott Adamson. It comes out basically whenever he feels like writing it. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

This time, scientists are studying the age-old question of which species is smarter – cats or dogs.

And according to researchers at Vanderbilt University, dogs win.

You see, the number of neurons in the brain is associated with higher intelligence, and apparently pooches have far more than pusses.

“I believe the absolute number of neurons an animal has, especially in the cerebral cortex, determines the richness of their internal mental state and their ability to predict what is about to happen in their environment based on past experience,” neuroscientist Suzana Herculano-Houzel told ScienceAlert magazine.

While we once thought cats had the clear edge here, this study showed that dogs have 530 million cortical neurons to 250 million for cats. And I’m not about to argue with anyone wearing a lab coat.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have never given this much thought because, frankly, I never cared.
I spent many years of my life as a “dog person” and mainly dealt with cats on a supervised visitation basis only. However, cats have been a major part of my world the past 10 years, so now I’m also a “cat person.”

In fact, while the cast of characters has changed much over the years due to various Rainbow Bridge crossings (and don’t ask me to read the Rainbow Bridge poem because I’ll just start to cry, dammit), my wife and I are currently parents to one dog and two shelter cats.

The dog is Charlie, a 9-year old Shetland sheepdog; the ginger cat is Thor: God of Thunder, age 3; and our gray and white long-haired tabby is Bane: Breaker of the Bat. He’s just 6 months old.

Cats and dogs cannot talk, obviously, so I couldn’t ask them a series of questions to determine their intelligence. So I had to sit them at a table with pen and paper and get them to write down what was important to them.

Here are the results:

 

CHARLIE

Food in morning good.

Food in afternoon good.

Food at night good.

Olive that fall on floor good.

Dessert in sandy box for cats good.

Treats is good.

Butt of Baby Cat good.

Belly rub that makes leg move fast is good.

Man and Wo-Man that kisses top of head good.

 

THOR

Let’s see … where do I begin?

I sleep approximately 20 hours a day, utilizing various locales throughout the facility provided by Wo-Man and Man.

I do enjoy a good book, and am currently reading a biography of Nikola Tesla, best known for his contributions to the design of the modern alternating current electricity supply system. A truly interesting Man who I understand possessed a magnificent singing voice.

The sustenance is adequate as a cylinder situated on a high, flat surface is most often filled with crunchable food stuffs. On occasion a softer, more flavorful meal is provided, but I’ve yet to determine what actions on my part initiate this activity.

Dog is harmless and mildly amusing, while Baby Cat is a weird little bastard.

 

BANE

Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding. The shadows betray you, because they belong to me. I will show you where I have made my home while preparing to bring justice. Then I will break you.

Ah. I’m just funnin’ with you. That’s from The Dark Knight Rises, which is a DVD Man plays a lot so I’ve had a chance to memorize a bunch of lines. I’ll sit on his lap while he watches, and occasionally he’ll give me skitches on the chin and kisses on the head.

Life is pretty chill here … plenty of eats.

Dog and I get along well. We play a lot and he licks my ears and butt. Not sure how I feel about the latter yet.

I love messing with Older Cat. He used to beat me up when I was little, but a couple of weeks ago I went Medieval on his ass and he’s a little scared of me now.

Wo-Man is cool. She combs me a lot and, like Man, kisses me on the head.

That sums it up. If you have any more questions shoot me a text and I’ll get back with you.

 

After reading these responses one would be inclined to believe that perhaps the research is wrong – cats do seem to be smarter than dogs.

As far as I’m concerned, though, all the science isn’t in yet.

After all, Charlie won a combined $367 from Thor and Bane playing poker last Friday.