Robots for rent

The annual International Robotics Conglomerate Expo was always a lively one, with CEOS, inventors and designers from across the globe coming together to introduce – and integrate – their latest products into a high-tech society.

Ever since the Robotic Revolution of 2043, this was the new world order. Man designed the machines, and the machines went on to redesign the infrastructure of civilizations.

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Planes, trains and automobiles no longer needed pilots, engineers or drivers.

Public transportation could be conveniently summoned anywhere and everywhere with the touch of an app.

House cleaning, street cleaning – all done flawlessly by robots or robotic devices.

Even motion pictures and sports were affected. Movies starred computer generated actors working from screenplays composed by artificial intelligence, while synthetic athletes never had to worry about injuries – only scheduled maintenance.

Everyone lived in a simulation that wasn’t a simulation at all.

But even on a futuristic planet in which the future was now, there was still room for nostalgia.

While robot bands could replicate note-for-note everyone from Robert Johnson to the Captain and Tennille to the Sex Pistols – anything, really, from the historic human music era – there was still some demand for “live” entertainment, especially from wealthy patrons who could afford the luxury.

And it was the human desire to take part in human experiences that convinced Dexter Talmadge to go big and bold when announcing his new product at the IRC Trade Show, held inside the spacious Golden Golem Enterprises Los Angeles Coliseum.

While other exhibits showcased glossy, glitzy humanoids and droids, Talmadge merely stood in front of a white screen that read “404 Initiative” while surrounded by what appeared to be a very random set of men and women.

Each exhibitor had five minutes to make a pitch that was broadcast throughout the coliseum, and when Talmadge’s time came, he quickly cut to the chase.

“Friends,” he said. “You can look around you and see magic made real. Everything you could dream of to ease your life is available for purchase. If you don’t want to cook, cooking will be done to your exact specifications. If you don’t want to spend the weekend cleaning out the garage, there are automatons that can do it in record time – and make it look even better than it did originally.

“The thing is, robots are designed to be perfect. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a companion robot that was less than perfect … that was much more like you?”

Many of the affluent attendees were intrigued. They moved closer to Talmadge and his 404 Initiative products, who came in various ages, sexes, skin colors, shapes, sizes – and imperfections. One appeared to be suffering from amblyopia, while another had protruding ears.

When engaged in conversation, their voices mimicked that of humans – one might speak a Geordie dialect, while another vocalized in a twang common in the American South.

The realism was truly state of the art.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Talmadge said. “Certainly, we can all appreciate the burden robots have removed from our lives. But isn’t there a certain charm to human error? Wouldn’t it be comforting – not every day, but every once in a while – if you ordered a glass of tea but were given a soft drink instead? Doesn’t that make you feel … I don’t know … maybe just a little more human? Our 404 companions will come to your home Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., and help cook, run errands … we’ve even designed them so they can ingest food if perhaps you just want have someone to talk to while enjoying lunch. They might make a mistake now and then, but isn’t that part of the fun?”

Talmadge prided himself on being persuasive, and his spiel appeared to be working.

Hundreds of people descended upon him, asking how they could rent 404 companions and what the robots’ full capabilities were. By the end of the first day of the trade show, more than 600 people had signed up for the service.

Once the crowds had cleared out, Talmadge was left with only a blank screen behind him and the handful of 404 escorts he had brought along. One – a smallish woman wearing a dark brown dress – walked up to him and grabbed his right hand.

“Thank you for doing this, Dexter,” she said. “There haven’t been many jobs for us humans since ’43, so this helps more than you’ll ever know. It gives us a sense of worth. And as long as the rich people who hire us don’t know the difference, does it really make any difference at all?

“All we want to do is work.”

Talmadge smiled broadly.

“Well, the first command of the Three Laws of Robotics states that I may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm,” he said. “I’m just trying to lessen the harm that’s already been caused by the revolution.”

The woman nodded and began to walk away.

“Wait,” Talmadge said. “Would you mind going with me to the Figueroa Charging Station? I know robots aren’t supposed to feel anything, but I don’t feel like being alone right now.”