Dear Potential Patron:
Almost two and a half years ago I wrote a column proposing the formation of the American League of Canadian Football (ALCF).
If you were one of the more than 7.8 billion people who didn’t read it, allow me to provide highlights of my idea.
Being someone who is a fan of the Canadian Football League to the extent that it’s my preferred brand of tackle football, I would like to see a spin-off of the circuit based in the continental United States.
As you know, the addition of American franchises was implemented more than a quarter century ago and the results were – to say the least – disappointing.
All CFL clubs are now based solely in Canada and the league will most likely never venture south of its border again. I understand and respect this decision and applaud the Canadian League for maintaining its unique identity.
However, it does open the door of opportunity for those of us who want to see another professional competition featuring rules such as:
* A playing field 110 yards long and 65 yards wide with end zones that are 20 yards deep.
* Goal posts situated on the goal line.
* Three downs to make 10 yards and a first down.
* Twelve players to a side (extra slotback on offense, extra secondary player on defense).
* All backs allowed in motion toward the line of scrimmage.
* No fair catches on punt returns.
* Fumbled balls that go out of bounds belong to the last team to touch the ball.
* Kicking teams awarded a single point (rouge) for missed field goals or punts that are downed in the end zone by the receiving team.
* Players who line up behind the kicker on a punt or field goal try may recover an “onside” kick.
Left up to me, the American League of Canadian Football would place its 10 flagship franchises in Birmingham, Memphis, Norfolk, Orlando, Portland, Rochester, Sacramento, San Antonio, Tulsa and Wichita. Following the CFL scheduling model, each team would play two exhibition games and an 18-game regular season that begins in June of each year.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to fund such a league which is why I seek your assistance today. When I used my debit card at Publix last week (we were out of bananas and peanut butter, and I also decided to buy some Little Debbie Snack Cakes as well as a crock pot), I noticed that my checking account is low.
Simply put, this league needs millions and millions of dollars in seed money. And since it might take a while for the ALCF to become a stable, thriving business, millions and millions of dollars over years and, possibly, decades, will be required.
This seems like a big ask but what better way to spend your money than on something that would make me happy?
While I would be the founder of the ALCF (and introduced at board meetings as either, “Our founder, Scott Adamson,” “ALCF founder, Scott Adamson,” “Sports visionary, Scott Adamson,” or “The father of the ALCF, Scott Adamson,” I would otherwise take a hands-off approach.
I might make suggestions in terms of naming a commissioner (Rachel McAdams is my pick, if you’re asking), but I would leave the final choice to you and your board of directors as long as that choice is Rachel McAdams.
Also, my franchise suggestions are merely that – suggestions. I thought of them while eating a Frosted Cherry Pop-Tart and didn’t do a lot of vetting. Your braintrust will be responsible for finding the right cities for the teams.
For example, instead of placing a franchise in Wichita (which would play in aging Cessna Stadium) you might decide on Fargo, North Dakota, which features the 18,700-seat Fargodome.
I would be fine with that, especially if you bring in Joel and Ethan Coen as principal owners.
Ultimately, it’s not where the teams are located in the United States, but that there are teams in the United States.
Hopefully over time the league would become equal to the CFL and the organizations could develop an official working relationship.
Wouldn’t it be exciting if the CFL champions and ALCF champions battled for the North American Cup each December in the Scott Adamson Bowl?
Yes … yes it would, indeed.
In closing, I ask that you spend some time watching the CFL, learning its rules and nuances, and decide for yourself if this is an investment worth your time. If you open your mind, I’m confident you’ll realize it’s long past time for the American League of Canadian Football.
Founder and Visionary of the ALCF
P.S. I would not require a salary, but am requesting a lump sum payment of $100 million because I like nice things.
Cc: Michael Bloomberg