Clueless Movie Review: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

By Scott Adamson
Esteemed Film Critic

“Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” is the latest sequel in the long line of sequels that involve wars that take place among the stars.

artwork by Scott Adamson

At its core it’s a morality play about good, evil and special effects.

Just like the last movie, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” this movie stars Daisy Ridley as Rey, who is so poor she can’t afford a last name, and that guy who used to be on the HBO show “Girls” as Kylo Ren, who is like Darth Vader only thinner and with a relatively normal face.

Plus, he also speaks in his own voice, whereas the guy who played Darth Vader in the other movies had his voice dubbed by the man who says, “This Is CNN.”

John Boyega reprises his role as Huck Finn and Oscar Issac returns as Edgar Allan Poe.

Supreme Leader Snoke is portrayed by Caesar from “The Planet of the Apes” trilogy.

Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) is also in the movie but mostly walks around in a robe because he’s retired.

Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) is now more like a CEO or supervisor, but the robots and Bigfoot, which have been part of all 16 movies, are still the same and make fun noises for the kids to enjoy.

Bigfoot sounds like an elephant with a sinus infection.

Anyway, you’ll remember from the last movie that Rey was coming to grips with “The Force,” which is like a religion that allows you elevate things.

(It would be similar to going to a Joel Osteen show and seeing him float the collection plate across every aisle).

artwork by Scott Adamson

In this thrilling installment, spaceships fly through space and people play with laser guns and light sabers. There are plenty of well-choreographed fight scenes as well, which involve the kind of extraneous jumping and twisting not seen since “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

And while it sounds derivative, it’s important to note that in the early Star Wars movies the Rebel Alliance fought the Galactic Empire and in the modern sequels, the First Order fights the Resistance.

The only similarities, other than the fact the Galactic Empire is just like the First Order and the Rebel Alliance is identical to the Resistance, is that the Stormtroopers are still the bad guys.

It’s never addressed in the movie, but I’m assuming when the Galactic Empire folded its first order of business was to sell the Stormtroopers to the First Order.

Is this movie “Citizen Kane?”

No.

“Citizen Kane” was made in 1941 and just about every star who was in it is now dead.

But if you want to spend three hours at the theater enjoying escapist entertainment, then see “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”

Or “Justice League.”

Or “Thor: Ragnarok.”

Or “Ferdinand.”

Or “Coco.”