Scott Adamson, Author at Adamsonmedia.com

Canadian Football Day

Saturday was American Football Day, and millions of gridiron enthusiasts across the globe celebrated by watching college teams compete in the four-down game.

Of course, those of us in Birmingham who remember the Barracudas understand that November 5 is also a solemn occasion; it was that day in 1995 our Canadian Football League team played its final game, which resulted in a 52-9 spanking at the hands of the San Antonio Texans.

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Speaking of which (and I’m speaking of the CFL, not spanking … how you spend your leisure time is none of my business) today is opening day of the 2022 Grey Cup playoffs. At noon my favorite team, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, tangle with my second favorite team, the Montreal Alouettes, in the Eastern Semi-Final, followed by the BC Lions versus the Calgary Stampeders at 3:30 p.m. in the Western Semi-Final.

For that reason – and because I was in the mood to write a CFL-centric column – I’m proclaiming today, November 6, 2022, as Canadian Football Day.

It’s a day to celebrate fields that are 110 yards long and 65 yards wide with end zones that are 20 yards deep.

It’s a time to revel in a league that doesn’t throw a flag if a team has 12 players on the field because that’s the correct number.

It’s an occasion to laud the sense of urgency required to make 10 yards in only three downs.

And it gives us the opportunity to praise the single point, or rouge, which is awarded when the receiving team doesn’t return (or kick) the ball out of its end zone following a punt or missed field goal, or if a kick goes out of bounds in the end zone without being touched.

Do I have the authority to do such a thing? I certainly think so. I mean, who can stop me? (It reminds me of an old George Carlin quote: “I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”)

Admittedly, I’m having to wedge it in among several other recognized days. November 6 is “International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict.” That’s certainly a noble cause, but not one conducive to a festive atmosphere.

Here in the States, it’s also “National Nachos Day” as well as “National Saxophone Day.” Nachos go great with football, so the occasions mesh. And if you eat enough of them, you won’t even need a saxophone to create your own melancholy sounds. (I was going to throw in a line about breaking woodwind, but that would’ve been pushing it).

Anyway, this is one of those rare late Fall Sundays when I shove the NFL in the backseat. Throughout most of the regular season the CFL avoids Sunday games so as not to clash with the Billionaire’s Club, but I’m always going to take a Canadian playoff game over an American regular season affair – every single time.

Plus, the Jets-Bills game at noon isn’t televised in my market, so the only decision I had to make was whether to watch the Ti-Cats-Alouettes over the Packers-Lions or Dolphins-Bears.

And honestly, it was an easy call.

Having said that (and then written it because I doubt you could hear me), I once thought by the time this weekend rolled around I’d be an innocent bystander when it came to the CFL playoffs. Hamilton appeared dead and buried at one point – standing at 3-9 through 12 games – but somehow managed to sneak into the playoffs with an 8-10 record.

How great is that?

Pretty great for me, because I get to keep all my Hamilton caps and T-shirts in the “season in progress” pile for at least one more day.

I know there are those who think it’s ridiculous that a team with a losing record gets a shot at a championship, but I don’t hang around with those people so I don’t particularly care what they think.

And besides, anybody remember the 2000 Lions, 2001 Stampeders and 2016 Ottawa Redblacks?

All had sub-.500 records during the regular season … all won Grey Cups.

That’s one of the beauties of postseason sports; championships aren’t necessarily won by the best overall team, but by the hottest team in the tournament.

And today’s matchups could translate into a couple of terrific games.

Hamilton (8-10) at Montreal (9-9) will be the fourth meeting between the two in 2022, with the Alouettes holding a 2-1 edge.

Montreal won 29-28 and 23-16 at Percival Molson Memorial Stadium, while Hamilton earned a 24-17 victory in the friendly confines of Tim Hortons Field.

As a former wide receiver myself (I don’t like to brag, but I caught both a TD pass and 2-point conversion toss while playing for the L.M. Smith Elementary School Cougars in 1974), I’m looking most forward to seeing Ti-Cat All-Stars Tim White and Steven Dunbar Jr. haul in Dane Evans aerials.

But Trevor Harris can be scary good behind center for the Als, and comes into the clash having passed for more than 4,000 yards this year (Eugene Lewis has 1,303 receiving yards). The only other Montreal QBs to reach that number in a season are Sam Etcheverry and Anthony Calvillo, and they’re both in the Canadian Football Hall of Fame.

Obviously, I’m hoping the Tabbies prevail, but all is not lost if they come up short. When I’m not cheering for them, I’m pulling for the Larks, and since I have a pair of Montreal dad caps, I’m fully prepared for the East finals at BMO Field on November 13.

From a pure entertainment standpoint, the West semi between BC (12-6) and Calgary (12-6) should be a dandy.

The Vancouver hosts have taken two of the three meetings and the Lion victories were wild – 41-40 and 30-29 in overtime. And aide from two great teams squaring off, there are a couple of terrific sidebars.

BC’s Nathan Rourke makes his first playoff start after coming back from an injury that derailed what was shaping up as a phenomenal season. In just 10 games behind center the Victoria, British Columbia, native has thrown for 3,349 yards and 28 touchdowns in his second year in the league.

On the other side of the field is Jake Maier, another CFL sophomore hotshot who won the signal calling job from future Hall of Famer Bo Levi Mitchell. Maier replaced Mitchell as starter in Week 11 and has come on to toss 14 TD passes against seven picks and rack up 2,389 yards.

If the teams don’t combine for at least 60 points I’ll be a little disappointed.

At any rate, today I’m rocking my gold Ti-Cats shirt and black Ti-Cats cap and settling in for a full day of CFL-style entertainment.

Hell, I might even color my cheeks with some rouge to honor that single point.

It is, after all, Canadian Football Day.

Branding time in the XFL

The original XFL was one-and-done in 2001 because it lost its primary broadcast partner due to astonishingly low TV ratings.

Nearly two decades later the rebooted XFL was one half-and-done because the plug was pulled midseason due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

The third XFL? Only time will tell if Dany Garcia, Dwayne Johnson and RedBird Capital Partners can provide the 2023 league with a path to sustainability. Once the league kicks off next February, we’ll start to have a better idea.

For now, though, it’s time for alternative football nerds to unite and make our feelings known about the eight teams’ logos.

“The team names and logos are the results of the diligent work and tireless collaboration between the league marketing team, ownership and our creative partners,” XFL President Russ Brandon said in a statement. “This is the moment where our brand comes to life and our shared vision becomes reality for our cities and fans everywhere. We couldn’t be more excited by what we have built, and there is more on the horizon.”

Branding – I freely admit – is now my primary interest in any tackle football league outside the NFL or CFL. I may or may not watch them play in the late winter and spring (really, I just want the guys to get paid and keep their major league dreams alive), but I need to know if they make my fashion sense tingle. If so, I might throw some cash their way and buy a hat or shirt.

So, here is how I’m grading the eight teams. It has nothing to do with their coaches, locale, or potential for on-field success, it’s based solely on my personal preference of their look.

And remember, this is only one short, bespectacled man’s opinion; if yours is different, we can still be friends (or at least friendly acquaintances).

Away we go …

Kudos for repping the city of Arlington, where the team and XFL headquarters are located and which is 20 miles from Dallas. I can see why the team kept the nickname, though. “Renegades” is just a good, solid alt-football identity, although the bandit-style logo from XFL 2.0 (now the secondary logo) was much better than this one – at least to me.

Grade: C.

Nothing particularly wrong with the nickname or logo, but I was hoping for some more color to go with the red. Plus when I think of Defenders I think of Marvel, not DC (if you know, you know).

Grade: C.

I tend to root for New York-based sports teams (I took Mick Jagger’s advice and once bit the Big Apple), so I decided to pull for the New York Guardians in the most recent XFL. However, I also really liked the name “Guardians” as well as the gargoyle-inspired logo.

Since many New Yorkers move to Florida when they retire, I’m gonna pretend that’s why Orlando didn’t go to the trouble of finding something new to call the club.

Grade: A.

Good name and logo two years ago, good name and logo now. I liked the callback to the Houston Oilers in 2020, which prompted the Tennessee Titans and NFL to file for trademark protection because a business that generates $18 billion annually must scratch and claw for every cent. Not sure why they felt the need to protect the brand of a team that moved to the Volunteer State a quarter century ago and changed its name to Titans in 1999, but whatever.

At any rate, there should be no such issues with this one.

Grade: B.

Brahma is the Hindu god of creation, and if you’re like me that’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of San Antonio, Texas.

I kid, I kid …

A Brahma is also a bull, so for me it’s reminiscent of one of the city’s most famous and successful minor league football teams – the Toros. That San Antonio-based club played in the Texas Football League, Continental Football League, Trans-America Football League, Southwestern Football League and Mid-America Football League.

Of course, the San Antonio Toros have nothing to do with the San Antonio Brahmas, I just felt the need to briefly hijack my own column with obscure facts.

Grade: C

The gridiron artists formerly known as the Dragons are now the Sea Dragons. When the rebrand leaked I wasn’t sure why they wanted to switch from a mythical monster to a real (if weird) fish, but that was really none of my concern. Fortunately, a Sea Dragon is a dragon hailing from Seattle, while a seadragon is something very different.

Good to see they stuck with the fire-breathing reptile for the logo and made it even better than before.

Grade: A

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Not only was this team the attendance leader in the 2021 XFL (28,541 fans per game) but it already had a sweet logo and uniform.

Grade: A

After flopping in Tampa, the Vipers slithered west. A viper is a venomous snake, and there are all sorts of these no-shouldered creatures in the Nevada desert. The logo gives me a strong “meh” vibe, but the name “Vegas Vipers” rolls off the forked tongue.

Grade: C

Halloween, werewolves and flame retardant costumes

I love Halloween.

Always have.

It is without question my favorite holiday – there isn’t even a close second.

Sure, you get presents at Christmas, colorful eggs at Easter, chocolate covered cherries on Valentine’s Day and term life policies on National Insurance Awareness Day, but you don’t get to dress as a werewolf.

I mean, I guess you could, but trying to work a werewolf into a Nativity Scene might be pushing things a bit. Then again, sheep are involved and werewolves like a good sheep now and then, so who knows?

Throw in some silver bullets with that gold, frankincense, and myrrh, and you realize how wise those men really were.

Point being, Halloween gives you the opportunity to be someone else for a day, watch spooky movies, and keep the inside of your house dark so Trick or Treaters won’t ring your doorbell.

As for werewolves, I was rather obsessed with them during my formative years. In fact, I used to take toothpaste to school and, during recess, lick a small bit of Colgate and swish it around so that it would appear that I was foaming at the mouth.

Werewolves, in case you don’t know, tend to foam at the mouth – or at least the committed ones do. And, by god, I wanted to be a committed werewolf.

Fortunately, my grammar school had no guidance counselors, so there was no one to check on me to see if my lycanthropy was interfering with my school work or mental health.

For the record, it was not.

I was an “A” student, and as far as mental health goes, I was as well-adjusted as any boy capable of assuming the form of a wolf while retaining human intelligence could possibly be.

The greatest Halloween, though, came when I was about 8 and my mom bought me a werewolf costume at a department store.

That was back in the days of those hard plastic masks with rubber bands on the back, and rayon outfits that tied around your neck.

The major selling point was that they had to be “flame retardant.”

That was of the utmost importance to my mother, who if she said, “I’ll get you a costume, but it has to be flame retardant,” once, she said it a thousand times.

Apparently, before these outfits came along, Trick or Treaters tended to burst into flames.

I never saw it happen, but I’m sure it was horrific … dozens of children bopping along with their little bags of candy and then suddenly turning into human torches.

And to the credit of the flame retardant costume makers, in all the years I wore their products I never caught fire, nor did any other kids I saw wearing them.

That’s impressive.

Anyway, this particular costume was a Wolfman, and it was reminiscent of the 1941 movie “The Wolf Man,” starring Lon Chaney, Jr.

It was made by Ben Cooper Inc. and, aside from looking cool, there was a sticker on the front of the box letting me know that the mask was ventilated.

That was important, because suffocation slows you down when you’re going house to house.

Knowing I looked menacing and could breathe freely made me more proud of this costume than any I’ve had in my life.

It was great to be with my posse out ringing doorbells, and then have the candy-giving parent or adult guardian tell me how scary I looked.

Of course, there was that one guy who opened the door, looked at me and said, “Oh, you must be a mean dog!”

Dumbass.

I kept that werewolf mask for months, taking it to school with me to augment my toothpaste-induced mouth foaming.

It finally wore out, though, and as I grew a bit older, I began to broaden my Halloween horizons.

I went as Batman for several years, and still have Batman masks, capes and onesies that I wear from time to time.

If there’s one thing I like better than a werewolf, it’s a Dark Knight.

And even though I’ve reached the age where I can order from the 55+ menu at Denny’s, I still have the urge to dress up for Halloween.

And this year, I might even go old school, relieving those carefree days of my youth when I ran around in flame retardant costumes, howling at the moon.

I think I’ll go buy some Colgate.

Editor’s note: This column was originally published in 2018.