Month: February 2019

NISA’s inaugural season set for August

Thirteen months ago – before I weaned myself from big box American soccer and made a pledge to “shop local” – I became enamored with the fledgling National Independent Soccer Association.

Scott Adamson’s column on soccer appears periodically, usually when he’s feeling especially soccerish.

I’ll always give NISA credit for planting the promotion/relegation seed in my head, as well as making me realize the long-term success of soccer in the United States starts at the grassroots level.

Frankly, those were things I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about before.

According to NISA’s original website:

Promotion and relegation is not complete if it does not include a first division. NISA’s vision for pro/rel is not limited to lower division leagues, but we recognize that pro/rel needs to start somewhere. It will likely take 3 to 4 years to fully populate NISA with 24 teams. At that point NISA can begin promoting teams to a second division league. Once that second division league is fully populated, it can begin relegating teams to NISA. There may be a few years that require NISA to bring on expansion teams to replace promoted teams until the second division is fully populated. Pro/Rel with a fourth division league will not happen until a fourth division league plays a full schedule. Connecting to an existing (MLS) or new first division league with pro/rel is something that requires a bit of faith and vision right now, but we believe NISA’s creation is an important piece of that vision.

Loved the sentiment, dug the plan.

NISA was being proactive in a soccer culture that – more and more – was being shaped by a handful of people representing and working with Soccer United Marketing (SUM) to corner the professional market in the U.S. I’m not a pro/rel crusader in the sense that I’m going to start screaming at you if you don’t think it’s the most important issue facing humanity, but I believe it’s the best path forward.

However, much has changed since the new league introduced itself.

Last weekend, Chris Kivlehan of Midfield Press reported that the United States Soccer Federation had granted NISA provisional Division III sanctioning, greenlighting an inaugural season that begins this coming August.

Currently only Atlanta, Charlotte, Philadelphia and a Connecticut-based entry are officially on board, but it’s expected to launch with at least eight clubs.

So this is all good news, right?

I mean, NISA is now more than just a logo. Plus, playing a fall schedule puts it line with much of international soccer, which I think is a positive step.

But …

I’m not sure what the league’s long game is anymore. Apparently, it doesn’t include pro/rel, which was its “raison d’être” at the outset. Any reference to that has been scrubbed from its website, and has been replaced by this:

We will provide the American soccer community with a dynamic and different approach to the game, where everything is settled on the field.

We will build an affordable pathway that will bring professional clubs to communities throughout the land.

We will create opportunities for local participation while blazing a trail for young players to achieve their highest potential.

We will do it all for the love of the game.

It breaks from the USSF by eliminating entry fees, but now seems less likely to rock the boat. That tends to happen when you want to work and play with the USSF.

Beyond that, though, I’m curious about its impact.

In terms of Division III, fans of “traditional” American professional soccer will have the USL League One to fill their needs this spring; it debuts next month with 10 franchises.

Those of us who want to see a soccer infrastructure built outside the USSF have the Founders Cup to look forward to in the fall; the National Premier Soccer League’s pro venture will answer to the United States Adult Soccer Association, not the USSF. Following its tournament-style intro, it will move to a full spring to fall schedule in 2020.

It made a splash with Chattanooga FC’s public ownership initiative (in the interest of full disclosure, I bought in), and the inclusion of clubs such as the New York Cosmos, Miami FC and Detroit City FC give it some added punch.

While the NPSL has already won me over with its amateur clubs in Asheville and Greenville, my prime professional rooting interest will be with whatever the Founders Cup eventually morphs into.

And frankly, NISA didn’t exactly generate a “wow factor” by rolling out franchises in the form of city postcards with a bit of the markets’ soccer history.

Nothing wrong with that, but if a league wants me to buy into it, it needs to tell me what’s coming, not what’s already been.

Still, I certainly hope it succeeds. While there are certain things I want to see in American soccer’s future, what I want to see immediately are players get more opportunities – and supporters get more options in what they choose to support.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna play the role of “tycoon” with Chattanooga FC, continue my decades-long love affair with the Cosmos, and keep wearing my ACSC and Greenville FC tee shirts.

I’m not sure where those clubs will ultimately lead me – or the sport – but I’m fully committed to the ride.

Apollos bring the fun to Alliance

After two weeks of league play, the Orlando Apollos (2-0) are arguably the Alliance of American Football’s best team.

There’s little argument, however, about the entertainment value of Steve Spurrier’s charges.

They’re a blast.

Orlando rallied from an early 12-0 deficit to defeat the San Antonio Commanders, 37-29, on Sunday afternoon in the best game of the weekend and – if we’re being honest – the most watchable contest the Alliance has produced so far.

The winners racked up 428 yards, including 393 through the air, to improve to 2-0 on the season.

Garrett Gilbert had a terrific game behind center, connecting on 19 of 28 passes for nearly 400 yards and two touchdowns.

Charles Johnson was Gilbert’s favorite target, hauling in seven balls for 192 yards and a score.

“A big takeaway for me is I had a lot of fun, and that’s something that I’ve really been focusing on,” said Johnson, who had a stint with the Minnesota Vikings. “Playing a sport again is really having fun with it, because I’ve kind of lost that desire to really have fun playing in the NFL for the first five or six years. It’s kind of just became part of my … what I did was a job. I kind of lost the fun and the love of the game.

“So, getting back to loving the game and having fun with it with a group of guys as passionate and willing to come out here to compete every day, I’m excited about that.”

Orlando receiver Charles Johnson (12) celebrates after scoring a touchdown during the second quarter against the San Antonio Commanders on Sunday. (Photo by Ronald Cortes/AAF/Getty Images)

Gilbert found eight different receivers for the Apollos, who have now put up a league best 77 points.

THE IRON CURTAIN

Sometimes, not even your best is good enough.

Other times, just enough is all you need.

Birmingham gutted out a 12-9 victory over Salt Lake on Saturday in improving to 2-0, and the contest was not – for the most part – aesthetically pleasing.

The victors netted only 216 yards of total offense and lost two fumbles, while the losers turned the ball over twice and missed three field goals.

But the object of the game is to secure the “W,” and that’s what the Iron did, staying perfect at Legion Field.

Once again it was defense and special teams leading the way; a muffed punt turned into Birmingham’s first touchdown, and the defense limited the Stallions to 105 passing yards and 256 total.

“Our defensive coordinator (Rick Minter) wasn’t here (Saturday) so I had the honor of calling a game for the first time in a long time,” Iron coach Tim Lewis said. “We did a nice job and the guys played hard, fast, tough, and played smart, did what we asked them to do. We did a nice job on third down and we did a nice job finishing the game. We had some adversity situations, and they did a nice job stepping up and making plays.”

In a 26-0 season-opening win over Memphis, special teams contributed four field goals and punts that forced the Express to work with a long field. Versus Salt Lake, they delivered in a different way.

“Fortunately, for our special teams, we were able to get a fumble and turn it into a touchdown,” Lewis said. “That was huge for us. Our special teams came up big again and really excited about the way the team played. Every day I meet with them about playing fast, smart, tough and to this point, two games into it, 2-0 and looking forward to getting ready for Atlanta, they’re doing exactly that.

“I cannot really ask for any more.”

STAYING HOT

The Arizona Hotshots join Orlando and Birmingham as the three undefeated teams left in the Alliance, and they did it the hard way on Saturday.

Arizona had to rally from a 12-0 halftime deficit to escape with a 20-18 victory over the Memphis Express before 11,980 fans at the Liberty Bowl.

“Memphis came out inspired and gave us fits with their defense,” Hotshots coach Rick Neuheisel said. “I coached with (Memphis defensive coordinator) Dennis Thurman a long time, and he had some tricks up his sleeve and basically stymied us, and those three first half turnovers put us in a real hole. But I found out a little bit about my team. I kinda expected we had that kind of grit and resolve, and we came roaring back.

“Our tempo put them in a little bit of a quandary.”

COMMANDING ATTENTION

San Antonio has played two home games, and the team is proving to be quite popular in the River City.

San Antonio has drawn nearly 30,000 fans to each of its two home games. (Photo by Edward A. Ornelas/AAF/Getty Images)

Saturday night the Commanders drew 29,176 paying customers to the Alamodome, besting week one’s mark of 27,857. San Antonio is far and away the top draw in the young league, with only Orlando and San Diego eclipsing the 20,000 mark in their lone home games.

Atlanta and Salt Lake have yet to play in their friendly confines, so it’ll be interesting to see if they can challenge San Antonio as the Alliance’s top hot spot for fans.

STILL SEARCHING

Speaking of the Legends and Stallions, they are two of the three winless teams remaining in the Alliance, with Memphis also 0-2.

Atlanta jumped out to a 9-0 first quarter lead but fell to San Diego on Sunday night, 24-12, giving the Fleet their first victory in pro football’s return to “America’s Finest City.”

Ironically, Salt Lake and Memphis also had 9-0 leads before fading down the stretch and losing their games.

UP NEXT

On Saturday it’s 2-0 Arizona at 0-2 Salt Lake, and 0-2 Memphis at 2-0 Orlando.

On Sunday 2-0 Birmingham plays at 0-2 Atlanta and 1-1 San Antonio travels to 1-1 San Diego.

Follow Scott Adamson on Twitter @adamsonsl. Email him at [email protected].

Sometimes, a bathroom needs a hero

Now that I have successfully transitioned from working a full-time job to being a (participation) trophy husband, I have taken on a much larger domestic role.

Brain Farce is a humor column written by Scott Adamson. It comes out basically whenever he feels like writing it. Follow him on Twitter @adamsonsl

And believe it or not, I take great pride in keeping the bathrooms in our house sparkling clean. In fact – as weird as it sounds – it has become my favorite household task, one that I do almost every day and take very, very seriously.

I like to think of it as a domestic superpower and myself as a crime fighter.

Or maybe a grime fighter; I won’t quibble over labels.

And as long as you stay on top of the “facility situation” it never has to get disgusting, like when bathrooms start to look like what I call “gas station toilets.”

That description should be self-explanatory but, if not, imagine walking into what appears to be a crime scene that smells of urine, rotten opossum and desperation.

Throw in fecal matter that has been randomly distributed throughout the facility and a condom machine, and the picture is complete.

(It should be noted that some gas stations bathrooms are well-maintained and I salute those fearless souls who make it so. The worst ones are often the “Mom and Pop” variety found on secondary roads – the establishments where you have to ask an attendant for a key that’s attached to a large board with a “Keep On Truckin’” sticker on it).

The worst I’ve ever encountered was on a back road while I traveling from Greenville, South Carolina, to Augusta, Georgia.

I was low on gas and felt the need to get a delicious and nutritious bag of potato chips, and I came upon an old convenience store.

As is my custom, I always take the opportunity to make the bladder gladder on any travel stop, especially since my bladder is, apparently, the size of a peanut. So, after gassing up and securing chips, I asked the attendant where the restroom was.

“It’s out back,” he said. “But the lock don’t work.”

That was fine with me; all I was planning was a splash and go, anyway.

But once I pushed open the door, what I saw can never be unseen.

This bathroom looked as though it had – quite literally – never been cleaned.

The sheer smell was overwhelming, and it became obvious that over time dudes stopped even trying to aim when they peed.

As for what was in the toilet, the better question is, what was not?

If it could be expelled from a body, it had been expelled here, and over time the unholy union of various forms of human waste had created what I call Excreta Maxima – a sewage super villain.

I have a relatively strong stomach, but this triggered my gag reflex big-time and there was no way in hell I was going to venture any further into this house of horrors.

I ran to my car – I’m pretty sure I was crying – and as I drove away I vowed to never, ever allow any bathroom in any house I live in to be anything but pristine.

Just as Batman swore vengeance against all criminals and Spider-Man protects the “little guy,” I shall forever battle the forces of poo.

So if you ever come to my home and need to use the facilities, you’ll be treated to shiny fixtures, fresh-smelling towels and a chamber pot as clean as any you’ve ever seen.

This is my mission.

This is my promise.

I am … Toilet Man.